Suddenly my mother came into the room without knocking on the door. "Bella, what are you doing?" my mother asked frantically. My hands roughly wiped away the traces of tears on my cheeks. "It's okay, Mom." I replied looking at him with a smile. "Here dear," said mother immediately hugged me warmly. A hug that actually calms me down. But I even cried bitterly. Mom knows I'm so broken. He stroked my shoulder. A hug that really makes me love my mom even more. Only mom can make me calm at this time. Thank you, O Allah, for giving a mother as good as her. I'm very grateful. I try not to cry anymore. Our embrace is now slowly unraveling. I looked at mom with a smile. "Eh, mom, why are you crying too," I scolded while wiping away the traces of tears on her cheeks. "After you cry anyway, yes mom will cry too!" mother said and laughed a little. He then sighed loudly. "You really don't want to tell me about your household problems?" my mother asked seriously. I shook my head slowly. Trying to convince myself that I can be strong without having to tell my mother. If I told my mother, I would be very sad.
Tomorrow Bella will return to Mas Bara' really, Mom. Don't worry, okay?" He smiled even though it was heavy on his chest. "Very well then, son." Mother kissed my cheek gently. I'm very happy with mom. Now I change kissing mother's cheek with exasperation. "The smell of a mother is very soothing, isn't it?" I shouted looking up. "Yes, of course, because a mother is she who has always been attached to her child since she was a baby. Anyway, the mother is very magical. Full of sacrifices. Hehehe…” mother laughed self-praise. "Mom how are you? Why are you laughing?" I cried laughing patting his arm. “Mother is ashamed to praise herself. You are the one who should praise Mother," said Mother with a pretty face. I laughed at him. Mom is really good at turning sadness into joy. "Yes, mother is indeed a sacred person. Allah does not even want to bless anything if the mother is also not pleased. Cool, ma'am? I want to be a mother," I said wishing. "Mom always prays for you dear, so you can get pregnant," said the mother with her eyes wide open. He seemed to really want me to get pregnant.

I can only reply with a smile even though my heart is a little pinched. "Oh yes, here, here!" Mom exclaimed immediately took my hand and sat on the side of the bed. "You wait here okay, Mother already has herbal medicine so you can get pregnant. Yes... This is a form of mother's endeavor. In a moment, mom will take it from the kitchen." Mother walked out excitedly. I close my eyes and exhale slowly. “No, Bella! Don't cry anymore," I said firmly in my heart. I thought about mother's feelings. Mother must have felt sad too. Because for five years I have not been pregnant. God, I don't know when I'm going to get pregnant. But I hope you give me the best way. Amen, Allah. A few minutes my mother came into my room carrying a glass filled with herbs. The yellow herb really makes me w ant to feel nauseous. I don't like herbs at all. Mother knows that.
“It's a struggle if you want to be a mother. Even if you don't like herbs. But you and the embers definitely want to have a baby right? Hmm, especially mom. I really want to have grandchildren from you. All five of your grandsons are far away. So you don't have grandchildren that you can hug," the mother said with a beaming face.
"Anya never called mom, huh?" I asked.
"Yeah, at least once every two months. Yes, maybe he is busy with work and with his children," the mother answered flatly.
"I'll try Bella later, I want to call Anya. Miss you too," I said smiling.
Now mother gave me a glass filled with herbs.
"You really have to, ma'am?" I asked hesitantly.
"Yes, you have to drink it dear. It's a pity that BI Sumi is tired of making this herbal medicine for you,” said the mother and then pushed the glass that I was holding a little.
I complied with his request. The smell of this herb really makes me uncomfortable. But I try to swallow this water as proof that I obey my mother.
"O Allah, please make it easier for me to get pregnant," I said to myself. Although I don't know what will happen next. Mas Bara was caught cheating. Can I still survive. I don't know, only time can answer that.
"Well, delicious right? It's not bad right?”
I smirked at mom. Holding bad taste on my tongue. It doesn't taste bitter. But I don't like herbs at all.

I smirked at mom. Holding bad taste on my tongue. It doesn't taste bitter. But I don't like herbs at all.
"Anya wrote very often when I used to live in Jakarta. Mother ordered BI Sumi to make herbal medicine for Anya. Well, you know yourself right? Your sister's daughter, Anya. He already has five children,” the mother exclaimed excitedly.
I chuckled.
"Yes, ma'am, yes. Bella believes 'how come,' I said stroking mother's arm. Then I leaned on his shoulder holding the back of his hand.
"Mother's prayer is very efficacious Mrs. Mother, please continue to pray for Bella, so that Bella's marriage can last until death do you part," I said softly.
"God willing, dear, mother will always pray the best for you," said mother, making me so calm.
Tonight I sleep with mom. It feels very soothing to the soul. Because I really like being able to spend the night in this village where I was born.
Since last night Mas Bara has been sending Wa messages. I read it but I didn't reply. Just let me lose respect with Mas Bara.
This afternoon I intend to go home. I came home not because I wanted to meet Mas Bara but because my mother was coming home.
"Even though I still miss my mother. But what else can I do. Mama wants to go home so Bella has to come home," I said by hugging my mother from the side.
"It's okay, dear. You go home obedient to your husband and also Mama. The two of them are really important right now. You have to take care of them both. It is not like that?" mother said with a peaceful smile.
I nodded understanding what mother said. Yes, here I am with mother too because I want to get rewarded. But I also have to take care of my mother-in-law and my husband, Mas Bara.
I don't know what it will be like at home either. Because I was angry with Mas Bara. But Mas Bara said I had to pretend to be happy and intimate in front of Mama. Ah it hurts so bad when things have to be like this.
I waved to mother and BI Sumi in front of the yard. Hopefully later I can visit my mother back in this village. Hm, it's sad too have to part like this. Even though I could be here every day. But that doesn't seem possible. Because I'm already married.