We both get up out of politeness to receive him. He holds out his hand, which I take, followed by a greeting, then turns to the bully and holds out his hand. Ok I think he forgot one of the principles of Terry YOUL. He never shakes hands with someone like this !! He stops at oral greetings nothing more.
Why is he doing this ?
May he who is courageous come and ask him, since there, I am silent!

Despite her bad mood, M YOUL makes an effort to mimic a smirk as she greets the client orally. He remembers and responds with a smile. I feel seriously relieved say, I always feel embarrassed when he does that in my presence. We sit down and start the discussions. Everything is going well and we agree. I return to my office and make an effort to focus on my next sketch.
When I start to draw I forget everything around me, architecture is my passion and I have the chance to work close to the best of the Ivory Coast and number two in all of Africa. I’m so focused that I don’t notice it’s time to go downhill. I put everything away and go home.

I'm going to open the door to Cynthia who had already warned me she was coming. I really don't have the head to make love. I know that’s why she’s here, but she’s not gonna get anything. She starts kissing me straight the moment I open the door for her. I push it away subtly so as not to run into it.

Cynthia: How was your day?

Me (going to sit down): Not bad.

Cynthia (coming to sit down): I was just thinking of you but especially your mini you. I really want you!

Me (getting up): I'm starving. We come to the table.

She joins me at the table and we start to eat the paws. She just talks and talks when I barely answer her. All I'm thinking about right now is whether or not she gives us a chance or better off we quit dating.

Cynthia: Ryan are you okay?

Me: Yeah!

Cynthia: You look like me somewhere else.

Me: I was thinking of something!

Cynthia: Tell me.

Me: I was thinking of both of us.

She puts down her fork and sighs.

Cynthia: Please don't do it again.

Me: Ok.

When the meal is over I return to watch the TV where the game I was expecting started. Cynthia joins me after having cleared everything. When she joins me, she sits astride me and starts kissing me.

Cynthia: I want to welcome you into me now.

I don't answer her and I don't respond to her caresses, let alone her kisses, but when she opens my fly I stop her.

Me no.

Cynthia: What's going on?

I take it off and pull up my fly.

Me: I don't want that anymore.

Cynthia: What?

Me: I don't want there to be anything but sex between us anymore. I told you how I was feeling but you pretend you don't understand.

Cynthia: This is not what we agreed

Me: I haven't forgotten it but I just want to change things.

Cynthia: Why do you want to spoil our moments? We are very comfortable like that and we get along well. If we get into a relationship things will start to go downhill. We’ll be arguing all the time just like now and I don’t want to mess around with all of this stuff.

Me: So you're gonna keep running away from relationships for life?

Cynthia: Maybe yes, maybe no.

Me: Listen to me, I don't want to continue in this anymore. Yes I wanted to but the feelings eventually set in and I can't help it. So rather than continue to pretend and only think of you as an ass and take the risk of sharing you with someone else I would rather have you as a girlfriend and keep you to myself. I want us to try Cynthia and if that doesn't work at least we will have given it a try.

Cynthia (lowering her head): I'm sorry but I don't prefer.

Me: Ok okay and in that case, we'll stop it all there. If I can't have you as a girlfriend, I refuse to have you as a sex party.

Cynthia: You're not serious Ryan!

Me: Oh that if I am.

Cynthia: Why the hell do you want to mess it up?

Me: I rather want to improve everything Cynthia.

Cynthia: Ok then don't count on me.

Me: It's up to you.

She stands there looking at me in surprise and decides to leave all excited. I don't intend to reverse my decision. I prefer not to have any more contact with her.

***Cynthia***

I don't know what Ryan has with this relationship thing. I don't want to get into a relationship. He doesn't understand that I'm afraid to commit again. Yes I'm attracted to him, I even think I love him but I'm scared. I'd rather forget about it and go have fun. I had been invited by a former pigeon but refused to go spend the day with Ryan. I call him to tell him that I am free. We meet in a bar. I come home to dress accordingly. Since Ryan doesn't want us to have fun together anymore, well I'll go find myself somewhere else. Besides, I'm really excited.

I'm having so much fun that I forgot about my conversation with Ryan. I prefer to be a free woman. I don't want to be accountable to anyone or even deprive myself of this or that to please anyone. I want to live my life the way I want to. I was poorly rewarded the last time I sacrificed my life for a man.

Simon my old sex plan makes me feel comfortable tonight. Our table is stocked with various alcoholic drinks and a bottle of champagne.