Lillie

I had always been very punctual, I was used to arriving early to class and leaving at the exact time. I also planned my life. I tried to keep control of everything around me and I didn't like improvisation. However, as I was about to turn 20 and going to medical school in two years, I became a little more responsible and demanding of my time. I always was, but now I was more so.

Every night I arrived at work on time, since I never liked to be in a hurry and to be pressured by deadlines. That's why wherever I went I arrived early.

My life was ordinary. Every day I went to college and in the evenings five times a week I worked in a club. I had been there for a year already. When I first went there, I was a waitress, but my boss and the audience when they saw me dancing on stage cheered for me every night. The truth was that I already had experience in dancing. I had practiced ballet since I was a little girl, but when my mother relapsed from her illness I had to stop, because money was no longer enough and she stopped working. My older sister became the breadwinner and I could not afford such luxuries. It was then that I decided to look for a job. My true passion was not to be behind the books, but dance, but I knew that this world did not guarantee me a stable future.

My family knew I worked in a nightclub, but only my sister Alexa was aware of my new promotion as an exclusive dancer. Since my boss, Julie, offered me the job, she wouldn't let me go, as I was her most precious jewel, which she always told me.

The club was not a brothel or anything like it, but a place where powerful men and millionaires went, those guys who liked elegance, but also lust. The girls who worked in that place only offered a dance and company if the client asked for it. The service provided did not include having sex with them. We were not prostitutes. Some of them did, either out of necessity or because they liked to do it, but the club did not get involved in that. The services they offered were on the outside. They were rules of the place. Julie always said she didn't prostitute her girls. That's why I agreed to dance, since no one was going to force me to do something I didn't want to do.

My mother would be disappointed in me if she found out what I did at night. She knew about my work at the club. I didn't lie to her, I just hid from her that I was offered another position there, and it would stay that way, as I didn't want her to find out about everything. She put all her hope and trust in me. She also looked forward to the day when I would graduate from medical school and become a great doctor.

My dream since I was a child was to be a professional ballet dancer, but with time and circumstance I found it necessary to choose another profession. That didn't mean that I didn't like what I studied, but that I had a bigger dream before choosing Medicine. As I grew older, my interests and thoughts changed. That's why I decided to look for a better paying job. Medical school was very expensive. Besides, I also had an obligation to help Alexa. I could not leave all the burden on her.

My sister had suffered a lot. In her teens she fell in love with a guy with no future, since he was a delinquent, but she was so blinded by love that she didn't look at his flaws, until he got her pregnant with my niece Sandy. He ultimately disappeared from her life. He was never heard from again. She did not want to accept his departure and became depressed for a long time. My mother and I were always there for her until she got back on her feet. Today she still regretted meeting him, not because she had my little niece, but because of how lost she became after he left her.

She didn't understand this love thing. I had never been in love and I didn't think I ever would be. Just seeing my sister was enough to make me not want to know about love, although I couldn't say the same about my mother. She had a very happy and lasting marriage, well, as long as it lasted, since our father died of a heart attack when my sister was only seven years old and I was in my mother's womb. That's what she told me. I didn't think I could ever be as strong as they knew how to be to get through something like that.

When I came into the kitchen for breakfast before I left for college, my mother was serving food on plates. Since she had stopped working she had offered to help us around the house. The roles had been reversed.

Since she was diagnosed with cancer in her breast it was devastating for both her and us. I went to the point of denial that it would happen to my strong mother. It was the most complicated situation I had ever experienced in my life. Coping with my mother's illness was one of the most difficult processes I had to go through. I loved her very much. There was a very close relationship with her, as she was always a good mother. I was afraid of losing her.

"Good morning," I greeted with a smile.

"Good morning, my child." She forced a smile.

She had been hospitalized for three months in a row, suffering from hard relapses and strong treatments she had to go through to try to stay alive. She had deteriorated because of that and looked more tired and very thin, she was no longer the same woman she had been two years ago. Her glow and her beautiful smile faded.

"Mom, I told you that you don't have to make us breakfast," I scolded her. "How are you feeling today?"

"And I told you that as long as I am in this house of uselessness I will help you in any way I can. Since I can still cook, I will continue to do so," she scolded me back.

"This lady will never understand."

My stormy Sandy came running in. That's what I used to call my little niece. My sister came running after her.

"Good morning, Grandma!" She ran and hugged my mother's legs. "Good morning, marmoset!" She came to my side and jumped into my arms.

I carried her and sat her on my lap.

Abu and marmoset was what she called us since we were babies, and those nicknames stuck. She was a storm, but she was also pure tenderness. I loved her.

"Good morning, little storm." I kissed her on the head.

She smiled.

She looked almost exactly like my sister; she had dark brown hair, just like our mother. I, on the other hand, had light, almost blonde, wavy hair. The color of my eyes was also different from theirs. They were emerald green. They had the same eye color, fair skin and medium height. I was a little taller. I always asked her why I was so different from them and she would answer that I inherited it from our father's side of the family. The weirdest thing was that there was no picture of him to remember him by. My mother said it was because he never liked them. Also, I always wondered why Alexa's features were so different from mine.

My sister approached my mother and asked her to sit down, as she had been standing for a while now, and that made her get exhausted faster. Alex was very responsible. At 26 years old, he worked double shifts at the cafeteria near my college and also helped my mother with chores around the house when he was here. I also cooperated, but I spent more time at school and at the club than at home. I didn't have enough time, but when it was my turn to rest I dedicated myself to helping them. Alexa had to leave law school with only one year to finish her degree due to lack of money. That's when we found out that my mother was sick. She decided to work. She realized that it was not enough for her studies and she had to leave them, besides Sandy's expenses.

I finished breakfast and said goodbye to my mother. I let her know that whatever happened, if she felt bad, to call me as soon as possible. Before I left I always let her know to let me know anything. I must have had enough of her by now, but I had to remind her.

I gave her a kiss and left with my sister and niece. She was taking the same bus as me, since we had the same route. Her work was one street away from the college. Before she got to the cafeteria she got off to drop my niece off at her school. I got off with her so as not to let her walk alone, as she was walking from there. When we dropped Sandy off at the school gate, we headed for our destination.

"I can see that Mom is not well," I confessed worriedly to Alex.

"You know very well that the treatments are exhausting her."

"I know, but I can see in her eyes that something is not right. I mean something out of the ordinary." I gestured.

We crossed the streets. There were only a few to get there. It took us five or eight minutes. The good thing was that we always had plenty of time. She would come in at 8:00 a.m. and I would come in at 8:30 a.m.

We arrived with fifteen minutes to spare at the cafeteria.

"She's just exhausted," she assured me.

I walked her inside because we were still not finished with our conversation.

"You think so?"

"Yes, and don't worry, it's normal." She left her coat in her locker, took her apron and tied up her hair. She was already dressed in her cafeteria uniform.

"I hope so." I sighed.

"Go to class, you're going to be late," she hurried me when she saw the time on her watch.

"I'm going. I just wanted to know more about mom, since I'm almost not here all day... "I grunted annoyed". Besides, I'm always early.

"If you keep going on like a parrot chattering, I doubt you'll be early this time.

I stuck my tongue out at him and hugged him goodbye. I left the cafeteria and headed back to school. I hoped the day would go fast so I could get home early and give some of my time to mom.

Today I had a very important exam in the middle of class. The advantage I had over Mondays and Tuesdays was that I could rest in the evenings, since I didn't go to the club. I took advantage of those days to study late and help around the house. I hoped I could pass the exam and come out with a good average.

Class time passed, so I went for a quick light lunch. Afterwards I would have the class where they would give me the test I was waiting for.