That afternoon, the scorching hot air made me imagine the freshness of enjoying a glass of cold drink from the campus cafeteria. The lecturer who was still busy giving an explanation in front of the class, increasingly sounded faint because my mind had drifted somewhere.

Amelie nudged my arm slowly, while covering her wide yawning mouth. "El, after this class is over, let's go to the cafeteria. "I've almost died of thirst." said Amelie sarcastic.

I quickly agreed to her invitation. Today it was hotter than usual, the sun's rays even made my skin feel like it was burning.

**

It turns out that it wasn't just me and Amelie who wanted to enjoy a refreshing drink. Cafeteria stalls selling ice and cold drinks filled with lines of students who had just finished their classes. Fortunately, our lecture schedule today was completed sooner, so we didn't have to wait long. After getting a bowl of fruit pudding, Amelie and I looked for a seat under a shady tree near the cafeteria.

"El, my mother sends you greetings. She said, if there is time, she wants to invite you to dinner at our place," said Amelie while scooping the contents in a bowl.

"Say my warmest regards to your Mother. I am honored to accept the invitation, hopefully there will be an opportunity to meet," I replied with a mixture of happy and sad feelings. Even though Sebastian once subtly rejected me, I still held a little hope of getting closer to him.

"She has been asking a lot of questions about You, El. It seems, she is interested in matching you with Bastian, " said Amelie with a small laugh.

I just smiled wryly. "Doesn't your brother already have a candidate? Anyway. Who wants a matchmaking these days, Mel?"

Amelie snorted. "I'm not sure about Bastian's choice. She was afraid my brother had made the wrong choice. You see, Bastian has never been interested in girls."

I was surprised and put down the spoon I was holding. "Wait a minute, do you mean, your brother ... same-sex lovers?"

Amelie instantly burst out laughing. "No, of course no, El! I mean, he's never been interested in girls because he's too cold and ignorant. But he's still normal."

I breathed a sigh of relief, though wondering why I felt that way. "Oh, I thought he was a gay," I said with a chuckle.

Amelie laughed again. "The proof, he said, is that he already has a future wife. He said he used to like someone, but was rejected. It's made him trauma."

I smiled, unable to imagine Sebastian being rejected. Roughly speaking, what kind of girl can resist a guy as handsome as Sebastian?

"If he already has a candidate, why not give him a chance first to convince your Mother?"

"I just want to give you a chance, it's just because my mother forced Bastian to get married as soon as possible that she would be operated soon. Mom's condition is actually bad, El, " Amelie explained in a sad tone.

I was surprised to hear her explanation. "So your mother asked Bastian to get married so that she would be operated on?"

Amelie nodded. "Yes. Sounds weird, right? But that's the condition."

"If Sebastian can't meet that requirement, that mean your mother don't want get surgery?"

Amelie could only shrug, confused. "I hope he really has a candidate. If just you like my brother, I can force him to choose you."

I just smiled bitterly. I thought I wanted to be honest about my feelings for Sebastian, but I didn't want to. No, Raveline. Don't start hoping to be disappointed again. I mourn my fate.

**

That night, I came back alone. My vacation schedule was almost over, and college really kept me busy until it didn't feel like time was passing so quickly.

My mind keeps spinning the events of recent times: Sarah's plans, Amelie's story, and my own feelings that I've never shared with anyone. I feel like sharing my sadness and anxiety, but to whom? Sarah and Amelie have had a lot of problems, Obviously I can't complain to them.

I wish there was someone who could be my place to share my feelings, someone who could give me happiness and love without feeling burdened by my grievances. Unknowingly, I was still holding out hope to be with Sebastian. Unfortunately, my logic always contradicts it. There's no way I could get close to Sebastian after being rejected as Raveline.

I looked at the spare phone lying on the table. I don't know what prompted me, but suddenly my hand grabbed the phone and dialed Sebastian's number.

"Hello? Miss Rose?"Sebastian's voice sounded happy on the other side.

"Yes, it's me..."I answered slowly.

"I'm so worried! My messages never arrived, your number doesn't seem to be active..."Sebastian sounded relieved.

"Mr. B... There's something very important I have to ask you."

"Important thing? Please just ask Miss Rose, I will definitely answer that question!"Sebastian sounds very confident.

"I am ... Me ..."for a moment I paused my sentence and hesitated a little. "Uhm, i just curious about some of the things you've talked about, and what I'm most curious about is your feelings ..."

"What makes you curious? Do you doubt that I really like you? Are you not sure if I really want to be in a relationship with you?" Sebastian sounds so soft.

I squeezed strands of my own hair. Confused about how to respond to the sentence just said by Sebastian.

"Miss Rose ..? Are you still there?" Sebastian called out to me, "you heard everything I just said, right?"Asked Sebastian.

"Yes, Mr. B... I heard everything ..."

"Then, why are you silent, miss Rose? Are you angry?"

I sighed as quietly as possible, so that Sebastian could not hear. "Angry? Why be angry?"

-Because you have rejected me ... - I speak to myself in my heart. I wish you realized. You reject me subtly in the real world, Sebastian. I sighed softly, wanting to be clear that I was the one he was rejecting as if I wanted to say it out loud. Unfortunately, I'm still sane. If I were, frankly, I'd embarrass myself as Raveline.

***