It was almost half past eight in the evening when I arrived at the apartment. The desire to immediately take a shower is getting stronger because my body is sticky with sweat. It's been a tiring day and a little annoying.

I threw myself on the sofa in the living room, still unable to forget the feeling that had haunted me since this afternoon—as if I had fallen into a deep abyss and slammed on its bottom. This chest feels so tight, as if squeezed by a very heavy stone.

Oh, My God! I really didn't expect that this afternoon, late in the afternoon, Sebastian subtly rejected my feelings. Even more surprising, my rival turned out to be myself, the figure of Rosaline, or Rose that "slutty woman". What a tragic fate, Raveline! I laughed bitterly, realizing the irony in this situation.

While raising my legs to the table in front of the sofa, I laughed at how ridiculous it was that Sebastian rejected me because I was a "good friend of Amelie" named Raveline.

** Flashback Memory**

Sebastian and his mother's conversation still rings clear in my mind.

"Mom, don't start talking nonsense. I already have a candidate, so take it easy, don't make Amelie good friend feel uncomfortable," Sebastian said in a serious tone.

"Wow! Are you serious, Bastian? You already have a future wife? How could you not let Mom know?"asked her mother enthusiastically, which was followed by Amelie's no less inquisitive spirit. Meanwhile, my heart felt pierced by small thorns—it's sore, but without blood.

"Yes, of course Mom doesn't know because I have not dared to make sure. She still hasn't given an answer, just pray that she accepts my proposal," Sebastian said Hopefully.

"Still not sure with her feeling? Then why are you talk so sure she'll be your future wife?"Asked Amelie's mother continuing her interrogation, as if not remembering if I was still there.

"Because, I just want to be with her! So, please don't make Amelie good friend more uncomfortable. After all, we just met in case she wasn't interested in me," Sebastian turned his head and smiled at me.

In my heart, I cried out, * I'm clearly attracted to you Sebastian! Who says I'm not interested!* But, I can only keep my feelings in silence.

"What is the name of the woman who managed to subdue you?"Amelie asked her brother.

"I don't know her real name, but she is often called Rose ..."Sebastian replied with a happy smile.

At that moment, I who was gulping down the water immediately choked.

* Oh, my god...* At the same time, I don't know if I should feel happier or more miserable.

** End Of Flashback**

I let out a long sigh. My desire to take a shower lessened, and instead I rolled on the couch, my thoughts drifting aimlessly. Should I still pretend to be Rose? In fact, Sarah's advice is to approach Sebastian as myself, not as a Rosaline aka Rose who works in Wonderland.

If later as Rose I reject Sebastian's Love, Will I still have a chance to approach him as Raveline? This thought really confuses me. Maybe I should just take a shower, who knows after that my mind will become clearer and find a way out of this trivial but confusing problem.

After the shower, I sat pensive on the edge of the bed, rubbing my hair that was still half wet. My body now feels fresher even though there is still a little soreness, but at least the sweat is clean. While drying my hair, I massaged my head slowly, hoping that my mind could be clearer.

Today, what was supposed to be an opportunity to approach Sebastian as Raveline Black, turned out to go outside the plan. I should have realized from the beginning and not hoped too high, given the bad feeling that had been there from the beginning.

My spare phone that was charging beeped, but I didn't feel as excited as usual. I walked towards the bookshelf near the television table.

Sure enough, Mr. B's name appeared on the phone screen. I just stared at the name with no intention of answering the call. Until the end, a notification of three missed calls appears on the screen.

After the call was stopped, notifications of incoming messages began to arrive. I'm sure it's from Sebastian, too. However, I'm still not tempted to take the phone that is still charged. Finally, I decided to turn off the phone. With a heavy heart, I pressed the *power off* button, and the phone vibrated for a moment before its screen turned dark, leaving only a sign of charging.

I hope what I'm doing is the right decision. I looked at the phone with a feeling of emptiness, remembering how once it had made my heart full of joy.

**

I knocked on Sarah's door, but it looked like she was busy because the message I sent two hours ago hadn't been read. After a few knocks and no answer, I decided to go to the customer service section on the second floor. Normally, I never asked customer service; every time I came, I went up and knocked on Sarah's door.

"Miss Rosaline ..."a voice called to me.

A colleague at Wonderland known under the pseudonym Cecilia came up to me with small steps. "Take a break, will ya?"he asked with a smile. Cecilia is a co-worker who has just signed a year in Wonderland. From the stories I heard from fellow co-workers, he was an orphan sold by his uncle and his own aunt. Cecilia was found by a parking attendant in a building not far from Sarah's. When he was found, his body was covered in wounds from abuse and almost half naked. It's a terrible situation. Initially, the police intended to return Cecilia to her uncle and aunt, but she chose to run away and somehow, ended up in Wonderland.

"Miss Rosaline ... why even dream?"Cecilia called me again.

"Uh, yes, sorry, I have a lot on my mind," I replied with a smile. "You saw her, didn't you, Madam?"I asked Cecilia.

Cecilia shook her head. "It seems that from the morning has not yet come. Oh yes, Rosaline, is the break still long?"Cecilia repeated the question.

"Oh, from the morning..."I nodded at Cecilia's explanation, so that I didn't have to go down to the second floor. "Um, yes... there's about a month left before my vacation is over, so what?"

"Have you heard back yet?"Cecilia's face suddenly turned serious.

I suddenly felt curious.

***