Part: 1

No matter how far I walked, I still felt empty every second.

The world sneered at me as an illegitimate child. Until one night, my mother died after hearing the scorn of her siblings.

"Your illness is a punishment," my aunt said.

"As long as that illegitimate child is in this house, our lives will be unlucky," my uncle continued.

Mum was breathing more heavily. The old face that already looked so fragile instantly became tense. Her body shook violently and convulsed.

"Mum," I whispered, moving closer to hug her.

Soon, Mum's eyes closed and she breathed her last painful breath.

"Mum!" I screamed hysterically.

Uncle and Auntie were not sad at all. They both hated my mum with a passion. Not without reason.

.

As time passed, my mother's funeral was over.

I was pensive on the terrace of my aunt's house. Since childhood, I've been here.

My mum didn't have a home of her own. None of her family would take her in, except Aunt Ratna.

Even though she berates my mum with harsh words every day, she is the only one who is willing to give her a place to stay.

- .

- .

A month after Mum left. One of the labour brokers came to our village.

His name was Mr. Handoko. He offered Aunt Ratna a job in the city.

"How is it? I'll give you an advance payment of three months' salary. Do you agree?" Mr. Handoko asked.

I, sitting next to Aunt, heard the whole conversation.

Mr. Handoko wanted me to work in his café.

Aunt Ratna and Uncle Toni's eyes lit up at the offer of so much money.

"I agree, sir. My nephew can work well. Take him to the city!" Aunt Ratna said enthusiastically.

"I'm scared, Aunt. Please let me stay here. I will work harder in the fields. I don't want to go to the city," I said.

"Honey, you have to go to the city. There is no future for you here, son," Auntie said gently, but behind it, one of Aunt's hands pinched my back.

It hurt.

Uncle and Aunt signed a piece of paper containing a contract of cooperation. They both agreed without knowing what was written on the paper. Aunt and Uncle couldn't read. Their signatures were just formalities.

- .

- .

I arrived in town by car that day.

Two shabby bags accompanied my trembling steps.

Mr. Handoko took me to a place.

It was nothing like the café he had told Uncle and Aunt about. It was noisy and crowded.

There were lots of drink bottles, and colorful lights. I felt dizzy from the lights that were constantly on.

"Mami, I brought a young girl who is still very innocent," Mr. Handoko said as he led me to a middle-aged woman who was already dressed up.

"Very disheveled. Where did you find her?" asked Mami.

"In the village, Ma'am. She just needs a little grooming, and she'll shine."

"You're right. If you look at this girl's beauty, it's amazing. Reminds me of a prima donna in the village in the old days."

Mr. Handoko and the woman laughed. After that, I was left alone with the woman whose name I did not know.

"Just call me Mami Mery! Come with me! In the blink of an eye, I'll turn you into a beauty," she said.

I followed her hesitantly.

We arrived at a room that was quite large and luxurious. There were 5 women in it. They were all wearing sexy clothes and dressed very beautifully.

"New kid, Ma'am?" asked one of them.

"Yes, quickly dress her up as pretty as possible!" ordered Mami Mery, then she went out.

I sat on the cushioned chair facing the mirror.

"Excuse me, what exactly is my job here? Washing dishes, or just delivering food and drinks?" I asked curiously.

Everyone in the room laughed at my question.

"Your job here is to serve wholeheartedly. You have to do everything," said the woman who was doing my hair.

I didn't understand, but I started to feel scared. This place didn't seem safe.

.

An hour later. I spun around in front of a large mirror. My appearance had changed completely. My long hair became shoulder-length. My face shone with a little polish.

"You're perfect," praised Mami Mery.

"W-what should I do after this?" I asked timidly.

"Sit quietly, dear. You are special, and will be the highest price tonight," Mami Mery said.

"M-meaning, Mami? I don't understand."

Actually, I was already feeling very uncomfortable in the sleeveless dress I was wearing. I never wear clothes that are too revealing.

"So Handoko didn't tell you?" asked Mami Mery while looking at me sharply.

"He said I'd be working in a café delivering food and drinks to customers," I replied casually.

Mami Mery and the others laughed again.

"Listen, Luka. You're here to work as a comfort woman."

My heartbeat seemed to stop when I heard Mami Mery's confession.

Comfort women....

I often heard that term in the village. Neighbors and even family referred to my mother as a former comfort woman. No one knew who my father was.

My life was like hell, everyone berated me for my mother's past sins.

.

In a special room, I was placed. Inside was a man waiting for me.

I had no energy to rebel. From the very beginning after learning of this dirty work, I tried to escape and defy Mami Mery's orders. However, what power. I was exhausted and could do nothing.

Mami Mery's men were numerous. Two slaps had already landed on my right cheek and left cheek.

I resigned myself to the tears that were starting to run down my cheeks.

"What's your name?" asked the person who had paid a very large sum to Mami Mery.

"My name is Luka."

The man moved closer to me, who was facing away from him.

"A rare name," he said.

I gasped.

"Show me your face! That greedy woman said you were very beautiful."

I was silent as I wiped away the tears that were still flowing down my face without daring to make a sound.

"Are you deaf?" he snapped as he turned my body to face him.

I sobbed. My face must have been a mess.

I didn't even dare to lift my head. I was bowed down in this endless agony.

Slowly, one forefinger of the man's hand lifted my chin. His sharp eyes combined with my eyes that deliberately strengthened my guts to look.

The man I interpreted was about 30 years old. A very handsome man. I couldn't believe that the one who dared to pay me so much was a young man who was so well-groomed and authoritative.

Who would have thought that he was a man who enjoyed the lust of helpless women.

"Why are you crying?" he asked flatly.

I shifted my gaze back down. "What else can I do but cry?"

He laughed.

"Did I pay you just to see you cry?"

"I don't know."

I was getting more and more naive in front of him.

"I think you should change your name!"

"It's my mum's given name."

"Your mum must be mentally ill," he sneered.

I cried even more bitterly.

"I'll ask that old woman to change your name immediately. If you continue to use Luka's name, then you will only be able to cry all your life," he explained.

I started to wipe away the tears. All this time, this man had only been talking without doing anything.

I was already scared to death.

"I'm willing to cry for a lifetime to be grateful if I can be free from this place. Do me a favor, sir. You can ask me to work in your house forever without pay as long as I can get out of this place. I'm afraid to be here." I pleaded with quick movements reaching for his legs.

The man flinched for a few seconds.

"Help me, sir."

He slowly lifted my shoulders. "I've paid a great price for you."

"Let me compensate you with my lifelong devotion. I'll do anything, except not this dirty work, sir."

Silence.

The man was silent in the corner of the bed. His face was so flat. I trembled even more as my fear deepened.

Continued.