Her skin was soft and smelled of strawberry soap. Kissing Amanda’s face made me forget all the problems, complications, and stresses of life. Knowing she was in love with me made my heart beat so hard it might fly away. However... my terrible suspicions were confirmed. She really wanted him, and there was nothing I could do.

Something happened between them at the party. Amanda couldn’t lie; her eyes betrayed her instantly when she did. Whatever it was, I knew they hadn’t done anything particularly extraordinary, like what had happened between me and Amanda now. Or one of them would have told me.

Donovan... Obviously, he felt something for her but hadn’t done anything about it. Would that change when she told him? I didn’t know how my friend would react to this. He had always been very territorial and never seemed very willing to yield once he set his mind on something. Anything could happen, and that scared me. At some point, the confrontation would start, something I had been trying to avoid from the beginning.

A faint murmur escaped Amanda’s throat as I kissed her, and that sound made all my nerves tingle with anticipatory pleasure. Gently, I placed my hands on her waist and pulled her to me. She seemed fine with the physical contact, but I suspected it was temporary, just like her speech. I intended to savor every second I could, and that’s what I did now.

Her arms wrapped around my back, and I moaned. Breathless, we began to explore each other; me with my hands and mouth, her with her fingers. Feeling her warm body against mine made the inevitable happen, and I was aroused. I tried not to scare her, but she noticed anyway. Then she opened her eyes and looked at me, quite seriously.

“Sorry,” I whispered. I was breathless, my cheeks burning.

She placed both hands on my face and gently touched my lips with hers, accepting my apology. Then she gave a shy smile.

I started to smell her hair. I knew I should stay away to let my body return to normal, but it was impossible. Amanda was like a temptation, a forbidden fruit from Eden. All I wanted was to show her how good she could feel if she chose to have me fully in her life.

It was very hard to be rational at times like those. I saw every detail of her body: the color of her eyes, the shape of her full, hydrated curls, her slightly elongated nose, her small chin, her delicate ears, and her neck... with a horizontal scar almost crossing its entire width.

She hadn’t told us the story of that mark yet, but she would undoubtedly tell us when the time was right. Her progress was evident, but we couldn’t rush or pressure her. Just the fact that Amanda was here in front of me, had hugged me, and allowed me to kiss her... If I were a little more religious, I’d say it was a true miracle.

Seeing that horrible, rough line calmed my nerves a bit. I became more relaxed and focused, gradually diminishing my desires. It wasn’t the time for that, and she wasn’t ready. So I placed my hand on her shoulder and asked:

“Do you want to go down for a snack?”

Minutes later, we were at the kitchen table. Two cups of tea were in front of us, as well as two bowls with donuts. Amanda was silent again, contemplative. I slowly placed my hand over hers, expecting some resistance, but she was fine. So I began to gently caress the base of her hand, staring at her deeply.

“Thank you,” she said.

“There’s no need to thank me.”

“Of course I need to... I... Gavin...”

“Shhh. Drink your tea and calm down. You don’t need to rush to tell me anything. I’ll be right here.”

Sullen but resigned, she drank from the cup and sighed. It was incredible how her simplest and most ordinary actions captivated me. I loved the way she moved. I liked watching her absorbed in turning the pages of a book. The way she held utensils to eat was also adorable. Even her shy sneeze was cute.

I realized I was staring at her when she blinked at me. I blushed.

“I think you’re adorable when you blush like that.”

I think it was the first time I heard a compliment from her. I blushed even more. She laughed. I decided to return the favor, speaking as I took another donut:

“You’re adorable in every way, Amanda.”

Now it was her turn to blush. I burst out laughing.

After our snack, we lay down again. I left it up to her whether to approach me or not. Shy, she joined me and rested her head on my shoulder. I cuddled her, intertwining our legs. Her scent intoxicated me again, and I felt sleep and a sense of peace and tranquility take over me.

I kissed her forehead. Her eyes were closed, but I saw her lips curl into a smile. It felt like a dream having her with me, and I hoped all our nights would be like this, though this optimism didn’t match the reality of the situation.

All the details that would arise from this could be resolved. They were inevitable, but not terrible. I was sure I could solve this in the future; I just needed tact. And maybe a bit of luck.

I decided not to turn off the bedside lamp. Being in the room with this deep blue tone brought me a good feeling. I noticed Amanda had already fallen asleep and was breathing deeply. I placed one of my fingers in one of her curls and played with it. So perfect and so hurt.

It seemed that my mission was to take care of her. And since I set eyes on her, I had always been completely focused on doing my best to make her feel comfortable and safe. I didn’t know if I could make this a constant reality, but I was more than willing. That night, however, I was savoring a taste of what it would be like if I succeeded.

Deeply happy, I snuggled up to her and fell into a dreamless, comforting sleep.