It's not over yet
By Karen Moon
Date: June 30, 2024
Ch. 29Breakfast


Sure, here is the translation to English:

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When the day of the conference arrives, Gavin sends me a message on WhatsApp, saying he's almost ready. I would be with the girl for longer than usual, and I confess that despite being happy, I was also nervous. I couldn't get all those thoughts and sensations out of my mind, and my fear was that self-control would simply prove ineffective in the long run.

When he opens the door for me, Gavin announces that he is already leaving and that the girl will wake up soon. He's wearing a fine suit; his hair is slicked back and his eyes are more regal and cold. It seems like he's been preparing for this day. I wish him good luck and assure him that everything will be fine. He thanks me and leaves in a hurry, afraid of being late.

During the first two conferences after the divorce, I went with him to offer support and protect him from the wandering wasps that wanted to catch him off guard. But then I realized that it only weakened Gavin's authority, implying that he was too weak or unprepared to speak for himself and the company. So I chose to let him go alone. He almost dragged himself on the floor, begging me not to leave him, but I didn't come close to giving in to his pleas.

The considerate Gavin had left coffee ready, and I saw various treats spread across the table. As soon as I started pouring myself some coffee, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Sleepy, the girl looked at me and waved, heading to the bathroom right after.

She still sleeps in his bed, even though she could clearly spend the nights in her own room. A strange pang of bitterness crosses me, but I brush the feeling away. These meaningless emotional nonsense will only get in my way.

As soon as she comes out, still in her pajamas but with a clean face and hair slicked back, she gives a smile so big that I almost fall.

"Good morning," I greet her. "Today we're going to spend a lot of time together."

She opens her mouth. No sound is emitted.

Shocked, I approach her. I'm so happy and proud that now I am the one who falls silent. I just look at her and contemplate her features, so delicate and yet so strong at the same time. I notice that I had never realized before how her gaze could mark and bend. Or did that only happen with me?

I extend my hand to the table in a silent invitation. As she sits down and starts to serve herself, I try to contain my emotions as much as possible. At that exact moment, I wanted to pick her up and start dancing and twirling, celebrating her obvious progress. Instead, I sit in front of her and say:

"You'll make it, little one. And I'll be here to see it, you can bet on that."

She gives me a knowing look. And then starts devouring salty toast. I join her, unable to stop marveling at every move she makes. She is perfect.

Perfect, and someone, or several people, broke her so terribly that we almost lost her forever.

I remember the night I saw her. She was sitting, so still and curled up facing the vastness of the sea. She seemed crushed by the weight of the world, as if her existence was a burden she wanted to get rid of.

If we hadn't arrived in time... If I hadn't wanted to sit on the beach, or if Gavin hadn't given in to my pleas...

She would be dead.

Things like fate and oracles were never worthy of credit for me. I used to say that paths are written by us, and apart from random events with minimal probabilities, everything was easily predictable. It was our actions that dictated the events, and when they were out of our reach, we could still choose how we would react. Finding this girl definitely fit into the random event category. But...

But it seemed like too much of a coincidence that after finding this girl and almost losing her to death again, she was here, in our lives, and clearly improving visibly. She was taking care of herself, bathing, eating. And without signs of the crushing pain that could lead her to hurt herself.

Coincidences could happen, of course. But it was still too astonishing.

The impulse to hug her was very strong. But I held back as I had before, and just silently contemplated that crystal being cut in front of me.

That day would be long.



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