Gavin needs to go to Urus for a big leaders' conference or something like that. He seems quite upset about it, as he had been staying with me full-time lately. Donovan wouldn't need to be here if Gavin were, so obviously he would stay with me.

I hear the two of them on the phone. Although they're speaking in English, I understand enough to get the general idea. It's a rainy night, and I'm lying in bed, covered up to my neck and wearing the pumpkin-colored pajamas Gavin gave me. Then I get up to go to the bathroom. My host seems too frustrated, as if his favorite team had been eliminated in the round of sixteen.

My menstrual cycle returned to regularity a month ago. I'm feeling the effects of PMS for the next cycle, meaning I'll be more needy than usual. Strangely, Gavin didn't mind at all. He seemed to take care of me even more happily. Donovan remained more or less the same, always firm and unwavering, although he blushed when I looked at him in a particularly "begging" way.

"It's unavoidable. I'll have to go there," Gavin says to me when I return from the bathroom.

I sit on the living room couch and furrow my brow. I'm getting cramps.

"What's wrong? Are you having cramps?"

Always on point. I nod. He goes to the bedroom and comes back with a pill in his hand. Then he hands me a glass of water. I thank him with my eyes and drink.

He starts pacing back and forth, distressed, mumbling in Portuguese and English at the same time. I don't understand why he's so anxious. He used to go out for a run and stay out for two hours; I was already used to his absence. I'd be fine.

As if he had read my thoughts, Gavin sits next to me.

"These conferences usually take hours to finish. The bureaucratic part is the shortest, with projects being reviewed out loud, flattery, and revenue counting. The really boring part is the party. Businessmen here and there trying to make 'friendships' and aligning interests. I know I'm part of it and will continue to be until I die, but I can't stand these occasions."

He pauses and continues:

"One of the reasons I wanted to abdicate was this; I don't like being part of this. With Donovan, it's different. He's not the direct heir, and legally he would only have full access to power if I were to die and if my parents and cousins were also dead. But he knows how to deal with it... He's methodical, responsible, and, above all, knows how to play the game. He has plenty of patience and knows how to find strengths and weaknesses in anyone. It's... Astonishing."

I look at him trying to make the best expression of concern possible. I want to know if he'll be okay.

"The good part is that these conferences are annual. So I'll have a good amount of time away from that snake pit."

After his outburst, he turns on the TV and puts it on a movie channel. But he still seems quite irritated and sad. I hate seeing that always so kind and bright face of his that way. It didn't suit him. And it was hurting me too.

A simple yet quick impulse: before I can think about what I'm doing, it happens. At first, the world seems the same. But for Gavin, who looks at me dumbfounded, everything has changed.

Because I just touched the tips of my fingers to his hand.