A Heart's Desire
By Tani Writes
Date: May 20, 2024
Ch. 22Feeling of Inferior


Before the start of the second semester, there was a wedding in Muternal house that Mr Ahmed did not have time to attend Tara had both of these holidays so he asked Tara to go there with her grandmother and Tara complied. But the next morning, when they left and at night Mrs. Ahmed was busy packing, Tara was sitting in a corner worried, she was going there without her parents for the first time since she regained consciousness.

At night when everyone went to sleep, Soni saw that Tara was sitting and crying, she got up and went to Tara and asked why are you crying?
On this, she cried more loudly and said, "I am leaving you all and Mrs. Ahmed is also living with us without her parents and family. I will not be away from my family even for a moment".
Soni started laughing at her words and said "You are not going forever, it will be a matter of a few days, then you will come back, please stop crying now and sleep quietly, tomorrow you have to travel" but the whole night she stayed awake until gone.

In the morning, when she started leaving home, Mr Ahmed smiled and said, "People like you very much there, you should see if we should marry you there or not". She got more confused she left home with moist eyes.

All the way she was worried and kept thinking "What will happen to my future? I am a very weak person and what will I do tomorrow after marriage when I have to leave this house and my family forever?"
That's all she was thinking the way through and she's not happy about anything.

When she reached there, she was happy to meet everyone and was taken care of. She did not stay long in the marriage house, but as soon as she finished the ritual, she immediately went to her grandmother's room.
She did not like to meet many people there. She used to go to the marriage ceremony dressed in simple clothes from the village and greet everyone with a smile and then she would return.

She used to call the house repeatedly to inquire about everyone's well-being.
Tara never spoke to Mr Ahmed on call because she was scared and that's why she never spoke to Mr Ahmed on call since childhood. She used to ask about Baba's condition with Mrs. Ahmed and Soni, but she had never spoken to her father on the phone.

Tara was not present at home and kept asking about the marks from Soni all day long. Mr Ahmed was also very eager to hear the result.
In the evening, Soni messaged Tara and told her that she got 90 percent marks, then Tara was overjoyed.
While Tara and Soni were talking on the phone, Mr Ahmed was sitting nearby. Soni told Tara that Baba happily hugged me and he was very happy.
Tara asks Soni "Are you happy?" Soni smiled and said "If Baba was happy, then I was also very happy", tears came to Mr Ahmed's eyes after hearing this.

For a long time, Tara stayed here and met different people there but she was not satisfied with all of them because she was not finding people there according to her idea.
There, grandmother told Tara to get married to her Uncle's son, so Tara got very upset and started crying, she said, "I am not happy to live so far away from my parents, and I am a very serious person. I cannot live in this environment".
She scolded Tara and said that after getting married, daughters have to go somewhere and everyone here is your own, so why are you crying?
But Tara was crying continuously after hearing all these things.

Tara was the first girl in her family to graduate and most of the people in her family were uneducated or illiterate so they didn't like Tara to study too much.
Some of them said, "Here you have to wash the dishes after marriage, then what is the use of studying so much".
Tara was very hurt by hearing everyone's words, she saw that the thinking of the people here was very old and they had not taken any oath. She thought that she would get married or she would wash the dishes after reading more. All these thoughts were making her heart ache and she was looking very disgusted with such relatives. Her eyes were full and she returned home.

After staying there for about a week, Tara came back home, from outside when Tara came home after so many days, Mr Ahmed only kept his hand on her head and never hugged her.
Mrs. Ahmed was shocked by the whole situation which Tara told she also asked, "Have you decided to marry me there?"
Mrs. Ahmed replied, "No, I have not given them yes for your marriage. My old parents agreed to this relationship. They want a relationship, so I tell them that we will see when the time comes, I just don't want to worry my parents, I told them that now Tara is studying".

Tara was worried after hearing all this. She was sitting and was lost in these thoughts that "I am devoid of my father's love and now I have to go to a place where there is no such thing as love. Everyone's thoughts are very strange but I have so much courage. I don't want to get married there but what is written in my destiny will be with me".

When Soni told her that Mr Ahmed was so happy with my result he hugged me. They started crying.
On this, Tara started feeling inferior in her heart and she was forced to think that Soni was also my sister, and then there is nothing for me but love for her for my big achievements!
She was not jealous, nor did she ever feel jealous of her siblings or any friends, but Mr Ahmed's love for the rest of the children was making her feel inferior and the thought of Soni or younger siblings and Tara also had the biggest hand in training as they all spent more time with Tara than their parents.

All of them her siblings were becoming masters of such thinking as Tara acted in front of them and when Soni saw Tara's priority for her father's happiness, she would do the same and say the same.
She considered the training of her siblings as her responsibility and that was the reason why she would think before doing everything, what would be the effect of this thing on the lives of my siblings, and how would my image be made in front of them?

While going to school, she used to give money for her siblings' expenses and junk food, and one day, seeing more food than money, Tara asked everyone, "Where did the money come from who among you stole it and why?"
Everyone was quiet and they were afraid of Tara, so Tara angrily threw away the food that was more than her money and gave the children only the food that she had given for food.
Later in the day, they never stole anything.
Mr and Mrs. Ahmed didn't even know these things, but Tara was creating in them things that were necessary to improve the personality of the children.



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