CHAPTER 5

Aniah’s POV

“What do you think will happen after you find that man?” That is the first question Inah threw at me when I started the car’s engine. This will be definitely a juicy trip to the mall.

“To be honest I have no idea.” I don’t really have any idea what may happen. And there is also a big possibility that I may not find the man. But I am not hoping for that to happen.

“I am scared of what may happen.” 

“Yet you did not feel scared when you made that baby together with that man?” I annoyingly asked. 

“I can’t clearly remember what happened that night. All the information that I spilled with you is the information that I remembered.” And that information is the only thing I have to find that man. 

“In the first place, why are you in a bar Inah?” I forgot to ask her about this but I am really curious about why she is in the bar. She is not the type of girl who will hang out in bars after hell weeks. 

“I am curious. I want to experience it. Aside from that I am already eighteen so I think it is not bad for me to try.” 

“Inah, you cannot always feed your curiosity. And now that you feed your curiosity look at what happened. You are freaking pregnant and you don’t even know who is the father of your child.” I am trying not to shout because I know that pregnant women are so sensitive and emotional. 

“Yes. I learned my lesson already.” I can feel the regret in her voice but I know that she can’t regret the child inside her tummy. A baby is a blessing from God and not anyone is blessed to have a baby.

“And that lesson changed your life.” 

“It feels like my world just rotated one hundred eighty degrees sideways and everything is not in place.”  I bitterly smiled at her. Now that she is slowly accepting the fact that her life will be changed I know there is loneliness inside her heart. 

“That’s life Inah. Everything is unexpected. There are times when the things you prepared will not go according to the plan which is why there are plans B, plan C, plan D, and so on.”

“That is my problem. I don’t have any plans. I don’t have anything in mind. Everything is unplanned and this really shocked me.” 

“This news really shocked the hell out of me too. You are the last person that I think will undergo this situation but I think God has another plan for you.” She just nodded. I know that maybe she cannot find the right words to say or maybe she is speechless at the moment but I know something clenched inside her heart.

“You will be always swayed by life but always remember you can always sway along with it. If you are not prepared then just go with the flow and let things happen.” 

“And sometimes, the things that are not part of the plan are the things that will be the most memorable, the things that will have a huge part in your heart, and the things that will have a significant impact on you. Let God handle your future, Inah.” I hope she is listening to me and she is taking it seriously.

I did not notice that we are finally at the mall. The drive seemed to be short because we are talking to each other and the traffic is not that heavy unlike on normal days and hours. 

“Aisht this shit is hard!” I can’t stop myself to curse because it is really hard to find a parking spot in this mall. This is so Philippines!

Three is no space left on the first three floors of the parking and we need to go higher. I am hoping that there will be a vacant space for my car.

To my dismay, when I finally saw a space, a car appeared and parked in the available space that I saw. I don’t have a choice but to go higher and find an available space for my car. 

This is a hassle.

“Finally.” I mumbled when I finally saw an available space on the next floor. 

“Can we eat first?” 

“You are hungry already? We haven’t started yet.” I laughed a little because she is already hungry. It did not take fifteen minutes from my condo to the mall.

“I don’t know but I am really hungry right now.” 

“Okay, we will eat first. What do you want to eat?” I asked her while removing my seatbelt. I also helped her to remove her seatbelt. 

“I want to eat Japanese food.” I nodded and went out of the car. Japanese food it is.
“I also want Chinese food.” I nodded again.

“And Taiwanese food.”  I nodded again.

“And Korean food.” I nodded again.

“Can you at least choose one?” I laughed again. She is so excited.

“But I want them all.” She pouted. 

“Okay, sure.” Maybe it is because of her pregnancy genes. 

I decided that we will eat in the food court instead of restaurants. We will surely have a hard time if we will eat at different restaurants. I told her to buy everything that she wanted and I will pay for it. What you will expect? She did not bring her wallet.

“What the hell?” 

“What?” She looked at me like it is her first time hearing me curse.

“Are you sure you can eat all of that?” 

“Yes. I think these foods are still not enough for me. I will buy later if I will be hungry again.” I looked at her with disbelief. 

“These foods can feed five people,” I whispered. It is just so many.

“Hey! That’s mine.” The shock was evident on my face when she slapped my hand. I was trying to get the tempura and she slapped my hand!

“What?! How about mine?” 

“I thought you are going to buy your own food.” 

“Really? Inah? You did not buy one for me?” She shyly shook her head and I sarcastically gasped before standing.

I went to the nearest stall that I saw and bought some food. I can’t stop myself from gasping and sarcastically laughing. She did not buy anything for me? Like bitch I am the one that will pay and you did not even bother to buy some for me? 

When my order is served I immediately grabbed it and walk toward our table. 

“You did not wait for me huh?” I sarcastically said. 
“Sorry, I am really hungry.” And then she resumes eating. 

What the freaking fuck is actually happening? Is this still part of being pregnant? Or maybe she is abusing my kindness right now? 

I rolled my eyes before eating. This girl is really hitting on my nerves. She is so annoying!

I was halfway finishing my meal when she put down her chopsticks. I looked at her.

“I don’t want to eat this anymore. I want Jollibee.” She pouted like a child. I put down my spoon and fork before looking at her.

“You ordered all of that because you told me that you are hungry then after trying only half of it you will tell me that you don’t want that anymore? Don’t piss me Inah.” I resumed eating then she speak again.

“But I don’t want this anymore. I want Jollibee.” I did not look at her nor replied back. She is wasting food and money. She should be thankful that she is blessed, she is privileged, and she is living a good life. Not everyone is blessed as she is.

“Hey. I want Jollibee.” She poked my hands but I ignored her and continued eating my food.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“What the hell Inah?!” I looked at her with furious eyes.

“I want Jollibee.” She pleadingly said. 

“You know that you are annoying, don’t you?” I asked. She did not answer me, instead, she told me once again that she likes Jollibee.
“I want Jollibee.” Fuck it. 

“Then go grab some fucking Jollibee!” She will not stop annoying me when I will not allow her to buy that freaking Jollibee thing.

“I don’t have money, how can I buy it?” Okay, fuck it. She doesn’t have money Iah, so calm down.

Breathe in. Breathe out. 
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Thank you!” She smiled when I gave her my card. What a way to spend the next hours. 

I am wondering. If I am not here in the Philippines, who will do this for Inah? Who will be patient enough to handle her? Who will be willing to give his/her card to Inah? Can Ababa do this for my sister?

To be honest I am very nervous. What if Ababa will not accept my sister? What if he will not accept his responsibility as the child’s father? What will happen to my sister?

I don’t want her to be a single mom because I know that is very hard. I don’t want the baby to grow up out of wedlock. I don’t want that baby to grow up in a broken family. It will be hard if that will happen.

My conscience cannot handle the guilt if I can’t give Inah a complete family because I know that I have a lot of shortcomings when it comes to her. I ran away from the responsibility of being the elder sister because I want to be independent and I was filling a void in my heart. I have a lot of things that I want to accomplish before, and some of those are still hanging behind my head.

I am still seeking validation from my parents. I want them to notice me, I want them to see me, I want them to pay attention but still, they did not. I am doing my best, and I know that I did my best but my best is still not enough.  

I can’t stop myself from imagining the things that I did not experience. And I will promise myself that one day if I will become a mom, I will not let my kids experience what I have experienced. I am pitying myself for the childhood experience that I had but, to be honest, that experience made me and molded me into who I am today.

I did not notice that Inah is already in front of me, eating her fries dipped in the sundae. I bitterly smiled. I cannot envy you Inah, you are my sister and I should only love and cherish you.

It takes around thirty minutes for Inah to finish the food she bought from Jollibee. I decided to take out the foods she ordered from the food court. I will just give it to the street kids later. It should not be wasted. 

“Where are we going now?” Inah asked. 

“I don’t have plans in mind. Just walk with me.” She nodded as she walks by my side.

Thankfully I am a fashion designer, so this disguising thing will be somewhat easier. I know how males dress so I know this will not take too long. 

“I am tired already, my feet hurt so much,” Inah whispered in my ear. 

“Last one shop Inah then we are going home.” I entered the last shop and grabbed what I think will fit me. Of course, I sum up my sizes, but I will not be Aniah inside that campus. 

“Wow, Ma’am! Are these clothes for your boyfriend?” Okay, I thought no one will ask me this question but guess what, I am wrong. 

Should I say yes? But I can’t. What if this girl knows me? Then it will be a scandalous issue for my brand and I can’t take that risk. Aside from that, I can’t be in the tabloids or any news, our parents will get mad at me. I am not saying that I am famous but I can say that some people know me and many people in the field of fashion are familiar to me. I guess I will just answer it safely and cooly so that there will be no news later.

“No. I don’t have a boyfriend. It’s for my friend. Uhm, just gifts.” I faked my laugh and I hope it looks natural.

“Oh, what a lucky friend. Your friends are so lucky with you, ma’am.” She smiled widely at me and I smiled back. She did assist me in picking clothes and bringing them to the counter area. I hope my card will not decline, I used it a couple of times already and I did not bring my spare card. I hope this card will not reach its limit yet. I don’t have cash with me because I am not really fond of bringing cash.

“Cash or Card, ma’am?” The girl at the counter asked me.

“Card.” She looked up and her eyes widen for a minute before proceeding again. Oh, this girl knew me.

“Ma’am, may I have your card please?” I gave them my card and promise I saw her blush!

“Ma’am, can you please enter your pin code here?” She showed me a small thing where I will input my pin code. 

“Thank you, ma’am.” This girl is so kind and gentle. I looked at her name tag, what a cute name. Hillary.

I saw her doing things, so many clickings and swiping before she gave me back my card.

“Thank you!” I said. 

“You’re welcome, ma’am. And one last time, can you please sign here?” She showed me something, it is their copy of the receipt if I understand it correctly. I signed it then I smiled.

“Thank you, ma’am.” How many thank you for today? She is thanking me too much, I am not doing anything that she should be thankful for. 

“Thank you too, Hillary.” 

“Oh my gosh. She calls me Hillary.” I giggled. What a cute interaction. 

“Are we done already?” Inah asked when we walked out of the store. I nodded. 

“Can we eat again?” I looked at her with disbelief. 

“You are hungry again?” She nodded. 

“You have your leftovers. You did not even touch them. You can eat them in the car on our way back home.” I am checking the files that my secretary send me when she speaks again.

“I don’t want it already. I want fried chicken and fries.” I don’t want this conversation to be too long because I am tired already so I just agreed with her.

I followed her and she went straight to McDonald’s. She is into fast food today huh? Hayst it is bad for the baby. 

She went straight to the line and waited for her turn. I just wait for her at one of the tables. 

I mentally slapped my head when I realized that I have a scheduled meeting it will start in thirty minutes. It is already eight thirty in the Philippines and it nearing 2 pm in Paris. Aisht. I am the one who asked for a meeting and I cannot waste their time. 

I looked at Inah and she is next in line. 

The girl at the cashier is clicking a lot on the monitor. She is really hungry huh. I hope she ordered it to take out and not to dine in. I swear I will need to reschedule the meeting if she ordered it to dine in. 

I am silently praying when she approached me with two paper bags in her hands. Okay, Thank God she ordered it to take out! 

“Let’s go.”

When we are nearing the elevator she suddenly put her hands on my shoulder and asked for support.

“Hey, what happened?” I confusedly asked. 

“I am dizzy. I feel like I want to vomit.” 

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” I panicked.

“What should I do? Fuck where is the restroom?” Thankfully there is a near restroom to us. 

She really vomited and it was a lot really. 

“Wait for me here, I will buy some tissue and water for you.” I leave her for a while before running to the nearest store that I think is selling tissue and water. 

When I came back, she is throwing up again. Oh, my freaking gosh this is bad.

“Do you want me to take you to the hospital?” I don’t have any idea what to do. I did not take first aid lessons before because it is boring and I am regretting it now. 

“No. I don’t want to go to the hospital. Maybe I just need to rest.” I nodded and assisted her. 

She accept the tissue and water bottle when I gave them to her. Maybe I should convince her on going to the hospital, not to be confined but at least to have a check-up with an ob gynecologist. We need to know what thing is good or bad for her. And I don’t have any experience of taking care of a pregnant woman.

“Do you want to stay still first or do you want us to home already?” I asked her. Her decision is very important because she is the one who is not feeling well. 

“Let’s go. I will sleep when we got home.” I nodded before grabbing the paper bags in her hands. Now I have a lot of things to hold. I am holding maybe around ten paper bags and I am assisting my sister. 

“Are you sure you still want to ride the elevator? You can just wait for me here then I will get the car.” Fuck. My car is parked on the fourth floor of the parking area. 
“I can still handle it. Let’s just go.” I held her before entering the elevator. Thank God there is an elevator girl inside. 

“Fourth floor of parking area please, thank you.” I asked the girl to click that floor for me. I can’t click the button because I am holding Inah, as well as the paper bags.

“Thank you.” I thanked her once again when she clicked the button. I am thankful that there are no other people inside the elevator, it is not crowded so it will be easier for my sister. 

Swear to God, it is hard to look after someone, especially since my hands are full of our belongings. When the elevator stopped at the fourth floor of the parking area I looked at the elevator doors.

I immediately looked away when my eyes were greeted by another pair of eyes. I assisted Inah before walking out of the elevator. I saw the guy move a little so that we can exit easily. 

I whispered a little thank you and I think he did not hear me say it but it’s totally fine. I opened the door of the passenger seat and helped Inah to seat properly. She can’t lie down and might get dizzy again.

I closed her door and walked to the back side of the car to put the paper bags on the trunk. I did not food the McDonald’s paper bags at the back because Inah might ask for them on our way home. 

When I entered the car I immediately asked her if she is doing good and then she nodded. “We should see a doctor Inah. Even if you like it or not we will see a doctor.” I told her before starting the car’s engine. I looked at her and I can sense the refusal on her face so I speak again.

“It’s not because you are not feeling well right now but we need to know the things that we should do because you are pregnant. I don’t have any idea about pregnant women so we should really see an OB gynecologist. And we need to ask for your vitamins.” I explained. I hope she is listening to me.

“You should sleep earlier than usual, you have a baby inside your tummy and you cannot risk the child’s safety. You can’t always eat fast food because that is bad for your health and also for the baby’s health. You should eat healthy foods, like fruits and vegetables. When we got home I will let you rest then I will clean the whole condo. After that, I will buy groceries for us. I don’t have any stocks there, I also need to buy our essentials.” I looked at her and she is already sleeping. 

“Okay, I looked stupid huh. I thought she is still awake.”