And then I could hear footsteps behind me. Ulrick gazed at me with an apologetic look. I felt my nub crumble to bits and I did not understand whether it was his apology or mine that my ears heard. A voice kept repeating in my head like a mantra 'blunder. You did a blunder by vamoosing your husband. You are a selfish woman." Slowly the voice became so loud that it perforated in all my nerves like poison.

"I am sorry Doll but I had to keep myself alive for you." I heard him say and I involuntarily screamed out "no" in my frenzied state.

He paused for a while taken aback and looked at me startled. "No. It is not your fault. I made a blunder. Kill me. I am the culprit here." I took his hand and began to slap myself uncontrollably.

"Ana, what are you doing? Stop it. You are acting hysterical. I have passed through worse and the only way to keep myself go on through this rough phase was this." He pointed at the Highland Park scotch bottle lying on one of the side tables near the headboard. "If you want to see me happy and you're really sorry for what you have done, then stay back with me and promise me we will not bring this conversation again." He gives me a sad smile and leers at me admirably.

I was traumatized to the threshold and stared at him with surpassing distress. What was he doing to his health? For the protection of my daughter was I unknowingly risking the life of my husband? The awakening thought brought a turbulence within me.

I lay on the bed with a paroxysm. Though I was very tired, sleep was far beyond to overtake my shagging mind. I stir around the bed for two hours not to find any sleep and so I get down the stairs to the study where Ulrick was working. I knock on the half-closed door to hear his husky voice "Come inside Doll..."

I go and sit in his lap which was our usual style. He was dressed in grey sweatpants and a black T-Shirt. The slight stubble on his face accentuated a rugged appearance which looked majestic in a different way. He nibbles the cigarette into the ashtray and pecks my cheeks adjusting me in his lap. I put my head on his slightly exposed hairy chest and inhaled his masculine scent. Within seconds my body goes to a peaceful rest and my eyelids drop. Just before falling into a deep slumber, I heard him say "Stay back Doll.....with me forever" and I was lifted into his strong arms to a comfortable comfy mattress within a few moments.

In the wee hours of next morning, sleep deprived me again and my heart was back to shackled pieces. On one side was my daughter who grew like a part of my body for months and on the other side was my husband who is my heart and soul. Both of them cannot have a life without me. The 'mother' inside me entreats to save my daughter and the 'duty of a wife' binds me to care for my husband.

I fall on my knees and cry in prayer,  please help me find a way to protect my husband and daughter. 

Chapter 36

Ulrick Pov

After giving her a strong warning of 'never to mess with me' I got into my chopper and landed directly on the terrace of my office building. I had some very important meetings lined up that day. Sitting on my executive chair, I look at the picture of her ornamenting my office desk and trace my fingers on it.

She was wearing a pink floral dress. It was a picture taken soon after our marriage. Her eyes were beaming with liveliness and she was astoundingly attractive. "I love you so much...Doll." My voice was unknowingly out. I knew my heart beats for her and only her till this moment.  Thinking about her, I get up from my chair to head to the conference hall where I am holding a meeting regarding a new branch to be opened in Sharjah with my company's shareholders.

After a series of business meetings and checking unlimited files, I finally reached home at midnight. I take a warm bath relaxing my tensed nerves and contemplate calling her. It is too late to call her. She might be sleeping. My inner voice administers putting my actions to a halt. I play with the platinum ring embellished on my finger recalling her enigmatic smile and go to the bar to bring a drink and loosen myself. Leaning on the headboard with my eyes closed I recall the first time I met her.

*****

She was not out of the hospital as yet. That morning my mom woke the both of us brothers and told we are going to see uncle Alejandro's daughter Ulia. Being the eldest of the three boys which included Ulia's older brother, I was expected to behave. But my mind was screaming to jump and take her tiny body in my arms like the other two who were standing beside me. Since I am the eldest among the three of us I was also the tallest. I lean into the crib and look at her. She was so tiny, only the size of a doll. And that's the moment the new name I gave to her came out to which I stick till today. "Doll?" I call her. She opens her blue eyes to look at me and it was the moment where everything stopped around us. My heart skipped a beat, something stirred inside me and I knew from that day she is mine. 

****

With the recollection of the jubilating incident my mind rests in peace after a long time and my eyes drop to a slow slumber now that I have traced her.

The next day as planned earlier I informed my parents about the inaugural function.