Lily sat in her usual spot in church, her eyes fixed on the pulpit where Pastor James stood delivering his sermon. Around her, the congregation listened attentively, nodding in agreement with his words.

“... And JESUS said, in the book of Isaiah 60:1‘Arise and shine for thy time is come and the glory of the LORD is risen upon thee’GOD is saying to you arise and shine, GOD is saying to me arise and shine. Tell that to your neighbor arise and shine”

Everyone did as the pastor said, and she turned to the person beside her to do so.

Even with all that is being preached, Lily felt like an outsider, disconnected from everything going on in the service.

She had always believed in GOD since she was brought up in a Christian home and her parents had taught her the basis of Christianity.

Sunday morning meant she and her family dressed up in their finest clothes as they joined the congregation in worship to the most high.

Her mother would sing hymns with her melodic voice, she wondered why her mum never thought of joining the choir.

Lily, as a child, had followed their leading, soaking in the stories of faith and miracles that were taught in church.

She noticed that as she grew to be a young sixteen-year-old girl, the flame of her childhood devotion had dimmed.

Going to church felt mechanical, the hymns were now uninspiring, and the sermons felt like rehearsed speeches. It just didn’t feel the same.

She longed for something more, something valid, something deeper. She wanted to feel GOD’s presence like she had never felt.

This Sunday in church, the sermon just wasn’t hitting as it should. It wasn’t going too far up in her mind as expected. It just wasn’t that the Pastor wasn’t preaching the right thing. It was her and she needed help to gain that fire back.

Lily looked around at the other worshippers who appeared to be so absorbed in the service. Their faces were radiant with joy and devotion.

Lily’s best friend Sarah, sat beside her, her eyes closed in reverence. There was a glow evident on her face as if she had found a secret connection to the divine that she hadn’t found.

Lily turned her attention back to Pastor James, trying hard to concentrate on what he was preaching but her mind drifted off. She thought about the stack of unread spiritual books on her nightstand and wondered if they held the answers she sought she seek if they would help when rekindling the fervor of her faith.

“Somebody shout hallelujah” Pastor James screamed into the microphone and everyone followed suit. “Scream hallelujah”

“Hallelujah!” The congregation shouted. Some stood to their feet with hands raised.

“Amen,” he said.

“Amen,” they chorused.

The sermon continued and Lily somehow found herself clouded by her imagination. An imagination of her seeking to discover a depth of spirituality she has never delved into. She could see herself standing on a windswept hill, gazing at a breathtaking sunset, feeling GOD’s presence in the beauty of his creation.

The sermon concluded with the pastor calling to those who want to give their life to CHRIST. A few people stood up and repeated what the pastor said as a pledge to stay with GOD and avoid sin.

The congregation applauded them as they were directed to the back where the ushers were waiting to take their details.

“Now, that’s only what GOD can do. Bring people to his presence, those who are lost and want the way forward. Thank you JESUS”

“Thank you, LORD”

“Amen”

Service was concluded in no time and people started to leave to the hall where everyone came together to eat and mingle.

Sarah, Lily’s friend came up to her and held her hand in hers. “Service was great, right?” She grinned from ear to ear as she awaited Lily’s answer.

Lily just nods her head to avoid any further questions from coming. “Yes, it was” she managed a smile.

She knew it wasn’t right to lie but just to avoid further questioning, she had to say such.

She made her way out of the church and back home in no time. Sarah had gone the other way since she lived on the other side.

“How was the service today?” Her Dad asked her when she passed by him in the living room.

“Uh... Yeah, it was good sir,” she forced a smile even though his back was to her, she just didn’t want anyone to notice how disconnected she felt from her response.

“Good,” he said and dismissed her by the way e of his hand.

Lily turned around and walked up to her room. She let out a breath of air and then entered her room. Just as she was about to close the door, her older sister, Cory stood in front of her with a questioning look on her face.

“You don’t seem happy, anything strange happens in church?” Blowing out the gum in her mouth.

Lily resisted the urge to roll her eyes “You don’t care,” she tried to close the door but Cory stopped her.

“Wait,” she placed one hand on Lily’s hand and the other held her cheeks. “Lily...” She stretched on “You’re right, I don’t care,” she smirked then turned around to head for the stairs.

Lily, who had a ray of hope in her when her sister looked at her like that felt a rush of warmness on her face, down to her neck.

“That girl” she humped.

***

Tuesday came in soon and it was the day when teenagers of the church come together for rehearsal, bible study, have little quizzes here and there, and where they could have a little pretend camp in the garden beside the church as a little bonus for their hard work in the day.

Lily attended as usual with Sarah and just as she has been feeling over the past weeks... Months even. Still, it felt the same.

Nothing interesting, mind-blowing, or whatsoever. It was getting worse for her. Not even the leading role she got as the teen's welfare leader could bring the feeling she yearned for.

Sarah noticed her demeanor changed, so she asked.

“Are you okay? You seem kind of off since we came here”

Lily was taken aback but she recovered quickly and managed a smile. “What do mean?” She let out a laugh “I’m fine silly. Maybe I’m just stressed from school work” she waved it off.