It's been weeks since our first day to uni. I am loving it so far. I have been laughing and smiling genuinely no more faking. And the credit goes to my two best friends who have become sisters to me. Zayreen has become a mama bear to lilly and me. Lilliana became a strict but lovely elder sister to me and Zay. Life with them I have never expected to be this. I miss my family too but I am being contented here. I have talked to my parents regularly and face timing too.

The main thing I have done is gotten a job in a cafe and I am earning my own money which I am spending on my necessities. The cafe is my second safe place other than my room. I am managing both uni and cafe pretty much well. People here in New York don't have time to judge people and that is the good thing that happened to me.

My daily routine is to wake up in the morning breakfast with Lilly and Zay then to university and from there to the cafe. my shift ends at 6 in the evening. by evening I'll be hell tired and I just ate dinner with my roommates and I'll go straight to ted. this is pretty much my daily routine.

Today is Friday and we don't have many classes due to the start of the weekend and after my shift at the cafe, I came straight to the apartment feeling tired and sleepy. I just wanna sleep the weekend away I am that much tired.

"Hey scar how is your shift? Got any hot dudes numbers? Zay asked winking at me.

" No zay, I didn't anyone's number" I replied rolling my eyes at her.

" You are more curious and ready to date than her Zay" lilly said smacking Zay's head and sitting on the couch.

"Who? me? No chance I am just asking her that's it" Zay said while munching on her sandwich.

"Okay, guys cut it out. I don't wanna listen to that topic anymore" I said while going to my room.

Seriously I don't wanna talk about dating or anything or think about it either .there is no place for love or a relationship in my life. I just don't want anyone in my life. I am happy being single and with my friends.

After getting ready I left my room and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. "Hmmm smells heaven, what are you making lilly? I asked her while checking the pot which is on the gas.

" It's Korean-style ramen with an Italian taste. I am experimenting with something and so far it tastes good" she says while mixing something in the pot.

"Are you sure that it's gonna be edible? I said with a frown.

" Seriously scar! You have been eating my food from the first day and now you are doubting my cooking skills? Lilly Said with one hand on her hip and another holding spatula on my face.

" No lilly I am just kidding. You would have taken cooking classes and I am sure you would become an amazing chef" I said while laughing and going to the living room. I don't wanna piss lilly off. She is scary when is pissed.

" You are coming from the kitchen? Zay asked.

" Yep, why? " Oh, nothing I am just scared," Zay said nervously.

" Scared? Why? What happened? I asked with a serious expression.

" Lilly is experimenting with the food and I don't wanna die eating it" Zay whispered while looking kitchens away.

" You are not gonna die Zay by eating food and you know that lilly is a good cook right so don't worry we are gonna be okay" I assured her.

" Guys, seriously! I've heard everything you two are talking oh no whispering loud" lilly said standing behind us.

" Hahahahhahahahaha we are just kidding lilly. We just wanted to see your reaction that's nothing serious" Zay said while laughing nervously.

" Yeah lilly we are just kidding. Come let's eat" I said escaping to the kitchen.

We are still alive after eating Lilly's experiment with the ramen. Thank God she is a good cook otherwise we would have ended up in a hospital and she cooks well.

Currently, we are in the living room watching TV playing random comedy movies.

" Hey, guys I forget to tell you both that tomorrow we have to attend a party," Zay said casually.

" Party? Lilly and I said at the same time.

" Yes, party like a welcome party or something. I've got the invitation from my classmate and he said to bring you both too.

Hearing that there is a party and getting invited to that party makes my nerves ache. I don't want to go to that party, where people get drunk up their asses and wouldn't have any sense of what they are doing and what had happened.

I don't know how to decline without hurting my best friends. there are a lot of bad memories connected with the party. After that incident, I never attended any party. Because of my rejection to attend a party every time one of the friends ask, I lost one by one of them, and I am thankful that they are not in my life anymore because if they are my true friends they would have never forced me to attend a party and hadn't left me when I don't want to go to a party.

I know lilly and zay are not like my previous friends if I refused to come they will understand and won't force me to come but I don't want to be in that shell where I have become nothing just an empty soul. I want to change everything and to change everything I have to go to that party.

I made my mind that I am going to attend that party and celebrate without any hesitation and fear. This is my first step to a happy and successful life. There are many more to come.