I... we rather, we have been really busy preparing for our upcoming exams. It should start by the middle of next month if hopefully the dates aren't pushed further or they decide to cut our long lives short and move it to next week.

That's how ruthless they can be when it comes to giving out exams and tests. Projects, I'd say are one of the worst.

Even with how busy we were these past weeks, Amara had the time to come meet me whenever she can and make me feel so little and uncomfortable. I don't know why she is doing that but if she is doing that to scare me away from leaving my hometown, then she has something coming.

No one will scare me away from the place I grew up in, not even the madness dad put us all in could make us leave. It is our home and whoever isn't happy with us here can go somewhere else. It mostly applies to her, she should leave us alone and just go back to wherever she is coming from.

So, because I am trying to avoid future problems with her, seeing as she is always around all the time, I try to avoid staying or talking with Leo for a long time. I don't need a daily dose of drama in my life at this moment.

I was walking home from school, I finished my last class for today about ten minutes ago and I waited till Elle was done but she told me that they had another class, so I just decided to head back home.

I would have just gotten into transit so that I get home on time but I felt like taking a walk and that is what I did.

Chris had been busy too with his preparation to leave by month end, which is likely to fall on our exam week. I can see how happy he looked about getting into the police force. Although something tells me that it's because of what happened to me and how he used to hurt me in the past.

The thing there is that, no matter how much I tell him that it was okay and he shouldn't blame himself since we all were victims, he just wouldn't listen. I can see the hurt his eyes held when he talks about the past. I know he still blames himself but I don't... not anymore, not after I knew who was behind all this.

And speaking of this particular person, I have always wanted to pay him a visit but that would be behind my mum's back since she's still freaked out about the idea of me going to meet dad.

I just need to talk to him. she might not know how much it's bothering me but I just need answers. Maybe if I get answers, my heart will be at rest and I can have that normal life I wanted but she is scared of what will happen when I meet him.

Even though I am scared but I just have to. Leo thinks it's a bad idea and with the situation, he has with that girl, now isn't the best time to ask him to be my companion as I go pay my dad a visit.

I doubt if I have let my intention known to Chris yet but, I would want him to take me before he leaves finally. I made a mental note to call him later today or tomorrow so that I can know if he will grant me my wish.

I do hope it goes out well.

"Ella" Leo's voice calls out to me, I halt in my tracks and turned around to see Leo walking really fast towards me.

I think it's because of what's going on, I haven't even taken out the time to at least admire how good he has been looking these past few days, even now.

I watch the handsome man who had no smile on his face, come to stand in front of me as he looks down at me with a little furrow on his forehead.

"Hi Ella" he whispered and I grinned... blushed then grinned.

His voice sounded so soft when he said my name.

"Hi Leo" I greet him back and he smiled and then engulf me in his usual warm hug.

GOD, I will keep craving his warm, comforting hugs. He gives the best and I just want to stay in his arms forever.

"I miss your hugs," I said after we lean away.

"Really?" he laughed and I nod to confirm "I missed hugging you too. I missed you too," he said when we continued walking.

"Me too" I sigh "But you know..." I glanced at him and then shrugged my shoulders.

"I do, I know very well Ella" he paused for a moment before continuing. "I really am not the person who would just put out my problems because I seem to be stuck," he said.

"You just go out there and help people and somehow, it gives you an idea of how to tackle your problems," I say and he laughs.

"More like that," he said still looking at me "I wish I never left" he brushed my cheeks softly and I felt this jolt in my heart.

Wow, I feel dizzy already.

"You did," I say lightly.

"I know, maybe things are just made to happen for a reason," he said and I frowned at that.

"What reason was that for?"

"Still figuring out," he said then let out a sigh "I want to tell you something," he said and we continued walking.

"What would that be?" I asked giving him my attention.

"I know it might not e any concern of yours but I just need to say this" he stopped which I did too as I look at his face which held no smile but worry. "I am leaving town soon," he said and my heart dropped.

Again!

"Again?" I voiced out my thoughts and couldn't help the frown that was now on my face.

Here I am already happy with thoughts that he wouldn't leave again, he even promised not to leave, not to leave me again and he is telling me now that he is leaving town again. I felt like I was going to cry and had to look away from him to blink away the tears.

I don't know why it feels like I can't have true happiness... I didn't have a good childhood due to how my dad countless tried to kill me and just hated myself for reasons I don't know, I had a confusing love life even though I was the one that caused the first time happen like that and now that I see that I am getting happy, he wants to leave. I don't understand.

"Ella, hear me out" he held my arms and brought me closer so that I was facing him. "I did promise not to leave but I have to, I need to leave... it's important that I do"

"Why? Why are you leaving again? You promised not to leave me again" I accused as I pointed at his chest still trying not to let the tears out.

"I am sorry, Amara needs to leave in a few days and I have to go with her fo-"

"Oh yeah, what was I thinking... Amara, Amara, Amara, it's always her, isn't it? Yes, she was there for you when you really needed someone to lean on but why can't you leave her and stay with me? Why do you have to make it about her? You said you still love me but you're with her"

"Hey, I am being fair here, don't speak about Amara like that... not only is she, my girlfriend, she is my friend, someone who was there when I needed comfort, I won't tolerate you speaking of her in that manner," he said and I couldn't say anything afterwards.

I sound selfish to want things to just go back to how it was even though it will be hurting people in the process, but I deserve to be happy, I can't just let her take him away from me. Leo is mine, not Amara's, not anybody else, mine alone and I will make sure he stays mine.

"I am still figuring out our relationship but I can't just leave her like that, she's my go-to person and I can't do that to her," he said and I wouldn't lie, it hurts that he sees her that way.

I thought it was me who was his go-to person but I can't help it, things change, and most times it changes people and your place in people's lives.

"She really needs me at this moment and I am going to be there for her no matter what? I said I love you, I am not faking that but we have to understand the situation we are in, its complicated... we aren't kids where we can just do whatever or make stupid decisions that would affect us or around us people badly" he said and I couldn't help but agree with him.

We need to do things with our heads sometimes even though our hearts seem to tell us otherwise.

"I understand but I just don't want to lose you again" I wrapped my arms around his torso "I love you so much Leo and it will break my heart if I can't have you again," I told him.

He wrapped his arms around me for a hug and I lean on him to find comfort.

"You won't lose me silly, I will be back in no time and hopefully things would have changed," he said to me and that gave me hope for us.

"I am holding unto that Leo, I am really holding unto that"

He laughed and then leans away so that he can look at me, he wipes the tears that stained my cheeks and pinched my cheeks softly.

"I understand how you feel, but I have to go... she needs me more than ever and I want to be there for her," he said and I nod my head.

I still feel hurt that he would want to stay with her even when I confessed my love for him, I still will not be able to get in between them but if she needs her friend, she should get her friend beside her, I just hope she is good.

"Will you be back before exams?" I asked and he nods.

"We should be" he answered and I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

"Thought you'll leave her behind" I whispered and received a glare from him. "What?"

"I to-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know" I waved it off and then decided to ask, I don't really care but I want to know why they are travelling now and why it's really important that he's there with her "Why are you guys travelling though?"

"Amara lost her parents," he said and that made me cold.