"I don't even find it out why are you having a crush on me for a first minute," I whispered while holding the ice cream and he chuckle.

It was the first day that he threats me while we're at the bench in street sidewalk. He don't response and I was staring at those french walking owning a phone.

"I wanna go to Eiffel Tower," I says. I supposed to think taking a photo of myself and send it to Steve who's probably waiting for me. "Then why don't we go?" He asks.

"Because it's not the right time," I response and looks at him who smirk. "So, how long are you been here?" I questioned him.

He took a deep breath and consider my questions. I feel like he had a bad memories in this place but he thought it's the decent happens. I was staring at him and waiting for his reply over the question.

"How old I am?" He said, I look down, his voice is cracks and I don't know what went wrong. He's probably thinking about his real parents.

Yes, he do having a good life in this place but his parents is still matter for him.

"Oh, I'm sorry—"

"No, it's okay. They're probably at England," He interrupted me with a smile with his gaze at the small houses. "Do you have friends?"

"I am sorry, I have a lot of a questions . . ." I muttered, trying to hide the embarrassment but he made me look at him by touching my chin while smirking. "Why not? I love answering beautiful valid questions." I feel like he do challenge me and I laugh softly.

"Yes, I do have. But I don't like hanging out with them. I want to break my friendship off with them, after everything. When she break up with me and my life to shits—she was always there for me when I need to solve aspect up. But she leave me, she went back to England." He reported on his broken words, he drops what he holds and I was stunned and tried to comfort him.

"I don't know how it feels . . . I know it's pain and you could cry on there and I will accept it." I stammered and he shook his head and chuckle. "No. I moved on but it feels different without her, I want things to go back when I know that I don't have a feelings for her anymore."

"Maybe, I miss the feelings of being in relationship?" He added, I do nodded my head and agreed with his spoken words.

"Yes, I agree—some things really happen . . . The closer is you love her but it will never be valid at all, there's two options, the closer is the things that you're not and that far but acceptable is the true one." I uttered, thinking about the things why I even went here and he nod his head and tightened his jaw while gazing at me.

"You're smart, Lana," He whispered. "This smartness have nothing to do with my real life ways. I love the grades of academic, I love stating opinions, and solving the things, it doesn't feel me better. It makes my school life better. They call me wise." I acknowledge.

He heavily sigh and touched my hand that stick at the ledge and shook his head.

"You're smart even in the fact that you're outside of school," He convince me, it makes me feeling down. I just don't want thinking about it again.

"I love arts." I changed the subject and he take his hand off from mine. "You're into painting?" He asks, he seemed grateful of how the way he spoke and I nod my head.

"That's my course," I say. "I don't want to paint without motivation. He is the motivation. I need a phone. I'm sorry Kevin." I added. I don't even know what went wrong at me when I spoke like that to him.

I stand up without flinching and look around but he suddenly handed something at my hand. I slowly went my gaze down to my hand and find out that it was a smartphone.

I was speechless and no words should be invented at the time of you don't know how to be thankful when you're more grateful than how big is that word is.

I look at him and didn't hesitate to hug him and I gulped when I release our hugs.

"Thank you, Kevin. Why didn't you told me at the first?" I thanked him and asking him at the same time and he sigh. "It's because I don't think you will need it. I thought you can use the university laptop—"

"No, I need to call my lover! I am sorry, Kevin. I know . . ." I uttered, but I stopped speaking when I open his phone and quickly went to the phone call app. "Is this phone able to call someone at the United States?" I asked.

"Of course. I used to call her—" He was halted when I pressed his phone against my ear and it started ringing his phone number.

A heart of mine keep beating fast while waiting for him to answer my phone calls but it didn't work at all. I was wondering and feeling down because I've been waiting after a lot of minutes and it hang off.

I put Kevin's phone down and sigh.

"Is there's something wrong?" He asks, he was also curious base on his face reactions and waiting for me to tell him a good news but I ended up shaking my head and hand him his phone back.

At the time of that, I keep calling him for a number of times. I didn't even count it, until the ice cream at my hand melt and I didn't yet finish it when I decided to throw it away while Kevin's not looking at me.

"Why?" I whimpered and sit down at the chair again and started to tears out. "I am sorry, Lana. I shouldn't have handed you—"

"No, that's good, rather than thinking how he miss me when he didn't even pick the phone up. I know he miss me. Maybe he's just busy. You know? sometimes my words are all fake."

"I do not want to gaslight myself!" I clattered, started to cried silently and he tried to touched my hand but his phone started to ring. I promise myself that it wasn't him.

He take a gander on his phone and he let me see about it and it was Steve's phone number. And it was the moment that I was doomed and fucked up but didn't do anything else but grabbed his phone and walked to the garden back.

"Steve . . ." I uttered, with an eyes closed and my hand were closed while waiting for his beautiful voice.

"Lana, I thought you were sleeping after long flight—"

"Why would I? I want you . . . It's fucked up that I don't have a time speaking with me. Didn't you miss me?" I interrupted him without flinching but it was all for my own good and to solve the crave.

"I miss you but it will never be at this day. I feel like you went home, baby . . . I miss you so much when the fact that I am still healing and trying to take the gaslight away." He response, his voice were deep as fuck that I love and will never get tired listening of it.

I don't know what went up at this time, I covered my mouth and closes my eyes.

"Please speak as you could," I whispered and sit at the bermuda grasses and took a deep sigh when I heard him gasping. "I hope you will too. I love you, Lana," He says.

"I love you too," I reply and touched my chest, finding out how fast the beat of my heart is yet I am still breathing.

"Don't forget that. Can we call always until we're sleeping?" He questions and I chuckle and gulped, I feel like I don't wanna speak when I don't have the words to response.

"W-What?" I stammered, trying to recall his words, asking like I didn't hear it because I don't want to response him with that questions and I heard him giggling.

"Of course, you will probably do that with—"

"Steve . . . I don't have a phone," I cut him off while looking down and my hands were trembling when I told him that. He wasn't speaking but sighing. "What?" He asked, probably trying to fix things up.

"In this house—"

"I can sent you a phone, Lana." He didn't hesitate speaking.

"Steve? What the fuck are you doing? The visitor is up and it's important matter!" The voice of Shelly cuts his words off and I heard him doing clicking his tongue.

"Give me a fucking single minute—"

"A smart Steve just curse?" I interrupted to ask him the questions. "But the worst things is please don't do that. I will still find a ways to call you and I will ask Kevin that I will borrow his phone tonight—"

"Who's Kevin?" He questioned, his voice were raspy and I could even see and observe his confusion on his voice and I feel like he shrug right now while waiting for answers.

"A new friend of mine. In Paris. I know you do love to know him . . . He's younger than me, he's British, and I do realize how can't I find someone like you, Steve?" He laughs deeply when I reply to his queries.

"It's because no one can be like me in this world. I am alone and only for you, Lana." He reality facts. "But your sister." I fought while laughing and he click his tongue.

"I hate her. I will probably choose talking with you than interacting the visitor—"

"Steve . . . You need to do it, okay? I miss you so god damn much but you just need to do that." I told him and he took a deep gasp.

"Can we face time?" He asks, his voice were deep and the way he speaks it is fast and I look around and shook my head even in the fact he can't see me right now.

"Let's do it after your visitor?" I request. "You said you don't have a phone? Please find a way to call me, Lana. I don't want to miss a minutes with you. Why can't you let me—"

Kevin's phone got cut off and it was low battery.

"Fuck!" I curse loud and I heard a noise at the window of the house.

"No curse allowed!"