I’d stopped counting how much I owed them once it reached a couple of million years ago.
“Why did you do that?” I asked him.
“I also paid your rent already. I talked to your landlady a while ago,” he pressed on as if he didn’t hear me. And I’m sorry, Ali, but I told her that within this month, your family would move to someplace else. For years, I tried my best to let you do what you want. I didn’t interfere because that was what you wanted. I respected your decision because I know you wanted to prove a lot to the world and to yourself. And believe it or not, but in my eyes, in Nana Marcia’s, in Jasper’s and in Demi’s, you succeeded as the head of your family.”
Jeremiah smiled. “I’ve watched you grow; I’ve watched you develop into the amazing woman that you are now, Ali. You’ve done the best that you could for your family. It’s time that you actually do something for yourself.
“A few weeks from now, mom will open up a coffee shop and she need someone capable to manage it for her. I recommended you. And you know how much she trusts you and adores you. She really wanted you to have the position but she was worried you’d refuse. During your days-off, you can continue writing as the real you this time. You can finally make your dream come true, Ali. Greta wouldn’t mess with you anymore.”
I took a couple of deep breaths and nodded. I pressed the sides of my eyes to stop myself from crying again.
“All right,” I replied in a hoarse voice. “I will make sure to work hard to pay you back.”
“I knew you’d say that. But you don’t have to rush or force yourself to do that.” Jeremiah took my hand and gently squeezed it. “You have your whole lifetime to pay. You don’t need to worry because I know that if our roles had been reversed, you would also do the same thing, right?”
“Of course.”
“See?” He chuckled. “It’s settled then. I filed a leave to help you pack and transfer your things. You can live in my townhouse for as long as you want or until such time that Jasper finds a job and would have enough savings to buy a house. I’ll move back to my parents’ mansion for a while since my parents had been complaining that it’s too big for them.
“My house is closer to Demi’s school. I think the environment there could also help her. Besides, the village was protected that’s why I’d feel more at ease to leave you there. It’s also a thirty-minute drive from my parents’ house so I could run to you in case there’s an emergency.”
“Okay,” I replied.
Jeremiah looked surprised. “I can’t believe you’re agreeing so easily like this.” He put his hand on my forehead. “Wait, are you sick?”
Nana Marcia and Jasper’s constantly worried expressions crossed my mind. I couldn’t even buy them decent clothes. I wasn’t able to buy my family a meal they could all enjoy, and a house that they could feel comfortable with.
Whenever it rains, they were always busy wiping the leak on the ceiling. Our apartment was really small for all of us and it was near the drainage that’s why there were lots of mosquitos and we couldn’t let Demi play outside.
Jasper and Demi while growing up, had been deprived of a lot of things. And what happened today was more than an eye-opener. My daughter was already deprived of a father. She was too young to worry about me. She should be enjoying her youth, playing with her friends, and having fun just like any ordinary kids.
They say that when a woman become a mother, she stopped being the picture and start being the frame. And indeed, I became the frame. But I wasn’t sturdy enough to hold the picture well. I didn’t want my daughter to hold back eating just because she had to think of me. I didn’t want her to always worry about my situation.
Demi didn’t deserve that. And Jasper also didn’t deserve to feel guilty for the things that I did for them. I had been deprived of peace of mind. But in the process, without being aware, I took away my loved ones’ peace of mind as well.
For the first time in eight years, I no longer wanted to live a life that I’d be ashamed of. I want my daughter to be proud of me one day. Maybe it was not too late to dream again so that when mom wakes up, she wouldn’t see all of us this miserable.
I’m not just a daughter or a sister. I’m also a mother. I have to be the strongest woman in the world for the little girl who clings to me. I am my daughter’s superhero, after all.
“Alison?” Jeremiah asked.
“I will rise, Rem. I will rise from this. And once I succeed you, I promise you, I will make it up to you,” I said after a few seconds of silence.
“Make it up to yourself and I’ll consider us quits.” He looked deep into my eyes. “Look, I can’t answer your previous question about pain. Even I don’t understand why out of all the people in the world, this had to happen to you when you’ve been a wonderful person your whole life but I know one thing. It’s the fact that you are far from being the pathetic woman that you think you are.” He held my shoulders. “Alison, you are the bravest and the most admirable woman I have ever met. And that’s the truth.
“The past years had been so tough on you, but you made it through without anyone’s help. I may have assisted you, but you did all the tedious works alone. When the whole world kept throwing things your way to weaken you, you chose to stay strong. You didn’t give up."