I saw him in a famous bar. I could tell that he was Alexandros, I could feel it, the same way I could also feel that his heart was no longer mine the moment I caught him kissing someone else.
I wanted to slap him and scream at him. But no word came out of my lips that night. Instead, I quietly walked out of the bar with Jeremiah.
I returned to the Philippines. My whole life stopped while Alexandros’ life went on. Our wedding was tagged as the wedding of the century. He was a billionaire that’s why many people knew him. And when he didn’t show up on our wedding day, my face had been all over the news.
I was tempted to accept the job Jeremiah was offering when I heard from Greta that my novel had been approved by the publication. I finished that while preparing for the wedding. She submitted it without informing me.
Greta and I were never close because she’d always believed that her mother who was a writer, favored me more than her, but I was thankful when she shouldered the expenses of my stepfather’s funeral. She also helped with mom’s hospitalization fees since her father was a hospital director.
But Greta took me by surprise one day, when she suddenly asked me to be her ghostwriter. That way, she said I’d be able to pay her. That time, even if it sounded wrong, I felt like it was the most practical decision I could come up with. Besides, I was in no position to reject Greta’s offer.
That way, I could still monitor mom’s condition while taking care of my daughter. Greta said it was a win-win situation. I smiled bitterly at the thought. It was Greta who kept winning, though. And it was me who kept on losing myself more and more in every book I write.
Writing was my first love. It was my passion. I was supposed to be happy doing what I loved the most. But that happiness had faded later on.
“Alison…”
My mind had stopped drifting when I heard Jeremiah’s voice. I opened my eyes. For the past years, I always find it hard to breathe. But I had to bear it because I had no choice.
“Rem…” I whispered. I didn’t try to hide my tears anymore.
I had been crying on the inside for a long time now. I was never brave. I was just faking it all these years. But I’m tired pretending. I’m tired hiding.
“It’s been more than eight years. But why isn’t the pain going away? Why does it still hurt so much?”

“CAN you walk?” Jeremiah asked instead as he wiped my tears.
I shook my head. “My knees are shaking.”
After a while, I laughed at my own misery. “God… I feel so pathetic-” I wasn’t able to finish my sentence when Jeremiah quickly but carefully carried me. “Rem, you didn’t have to do this.”
“It was a good thing that Jasper used the Facebook live. I was able to watch Demi’s performance while driving that’s why I understood why she won the contest again. And judging from the new Alison that I know; you must have been thinking of the worst things right now,” he said tenderly as he walked towards the parking area.
I leaned on Jeremiah’s chest. It reminded me of the good, old days, of the days when I was still silly and immature. The only difference was that I was the one who used to insist that he’d carry me.
He used to do it to indulge me. And now, he was carrying me to protect me.
If only he and I ended up together, I wouldn’t have gotten this hurt. My parents had always vouched for him. I should have listened to them. And maybe… just maybe, things would have been a little different.
“Your daughter is right, Alison. You really forgot a lot of things over the past years. You forgot that the reason why you have family is to share everything to them, even your worries and problems. You forgot that you have a best friend to lean on. You forgot that we care. You forgot that it’s because we love you that we were able to see right through you no matter how much you try to hide it.
“Come on, Demi saw your sufferings not because you’re lacking as a mother, Ali. She saw it because she’s your daughter, because she lives with you. Do you actually think we can fool the ones we live with, especially Demi who had always been special?”
I couldn’t answer him. Jeremiah was nagging me, but it didn’t sound like it. Because his voice was as soothing as before.
He brought me to his car. I sat on the passenger seat. He typed something on his phone before turning to me.
“I texted Jasper. I told him that you feel unwell that’s why we’ll be waiting for them here in the car. We have to celebrate Demi’s achievement. I’ll treat you, guys, to dinner.”
I leaned on the backrest and whispered, “All right.”
“Remember when you collapsed the other day? I called the doctor at that time. He said that it happened because of too much stress. You’re also overworked.” Jeremiah sighed. “I’m also sure that you’d forgotten what I told you that day. Or maybe you didn’t take it seriously. But I did. I told you I’d take charge, Alison. I’ll take care of everything and just rest. I already talked to the hospital director. I paid everything he spent with Aunt Anna’s medical treatments. I also paid Greta everything you owed her.”
I turned to my best friend. That was a private hospital. I wanted to give my mother the best care possible, hoping that it would help her wake up that’s why I brought her there. I also know that even if I spend my whole life writing, I’d never be able to pay my debts to Greta.