My hands froze from signing the documents when I remembered Clavia’s letter which her butler delivered to me. We were about to get married in a few weeks’ time that’s why the elders prevented us from meeting each other for the meantime. Clavia was given a royal decree, she had been commanded to practice the proper etiquette of being a queen. The Council assigned a personal trainer for her. Every future Queen was required to do it before they enter the Imperial Castle.
I was used to it already that’s why it did not bother me anymore. What I could not get used to were the lies behind that crap. Because the truth was I had no time to meet anyone at the moment because I had tons of things to do. Clavia’s training could be finished in just a few days. There was no actually no need for further training because she was already a royalty. She already knew the dos and don’ts but the Council extended her supposed to be training because my schedule was loaded. It was to avoid the questions from the people who were anticipating to see me and Clavia together.
There were new policies and laws that the Council submitted and I had to review them all so I could approve them as quickly as possible because most of them were urgent and they were all regarding the welfare of the common people.
Theron was the first to analyze the documents. He had also given me summaries about them because he wanted me to read them after the honeymoon. All I needed to do right now was just to put my stamp on the ones that Theron approved. My job would have been over earlier if I were to do that. Through magic, I could read and put my stamps on hundreds of documents in just a few minutes. But there were secret codes behind every document which made using magic complicated. And I needed to decipher them one by one.
Even Theron inserted secret codes to prevent anyone from reading the important documents since there were cleaning ladies and other Castle employees that come in and out of my office. Besides, every single document matters. I need to know every detail, no matter how small or big they were. I don’t want the Council to find a fault in my performance that’s why I’m studying Theron’s summaries.
The Council members may be smiling and bowing in front of me, but I know that not all of them were in favor of me. Not all of them were loyal to me. Some of them were forced to treat me nicely because I happened to have the public’s back. But one of them could stab me in the back any minute. They could also suddenly raise a question about the policies and laws during the wedding celebration since that was the perfect time to catch me by surprise. And I could not fail in front of hundreds of guests.
A few weeks before the wedding, there were suddenly some urgent things that they wanted the government to implement. I know it was not merely a coincidence. The Council was trying to shake me. And whatever happens, I must not be shaken.
But the news about Clavia made me lose my focus. It was bugging the hell out of me. And it made me feel… more exhausted and more suffocated than ever. When I could no longer take it, I stood up and walked back and forth inside my office. What happened to me and Clavia was only an accident. It was a moment of weakness on my side and happened only once when I was tempted to give up my position because the responsibilities were too much to bear.
After that one particular night, I became extra careful. Because I was not expecting a baby anytime soon. No, actually, I was not expecting a baby… at all.
I love Clavia. I love her so much. Then and now, she had always been my only escape from my strenuous world. I know it was her dream to have a big family because like me, she was an only child, too. And if I only happened to be just like any ordinary man, there was no doubt that I would have dreamt of the same thing. Who doesn’t want to have kids with the woman they love?
But I’m a King. And that was the biggest problem. That was the reason why I could not afford to have that dream. While I’m still the king, while I still these have secrets, I must not have a child. I could only get married. Because that was what everyone expected of me. I’ve already planned what excuse I would tell everybody if they ever question me for not having a successor. But I haven’t told Clavia about it yet.
And it seems like I would not be able to tell her about it anymore. She was not allowed to discover my family secret because they believed that if we would pass it to someone outside the family, there would always be a tendency that other people might find out about it, too.
The Armethians who did not approve of me as their king could use black magic to make the secret come out of Clavia’s lips. And we can’t risk that.
“I hope with all my heart that he or she grows up to be like you, Alex.”
I stopped pacing back and forth and stared at my reflection on the glass wall. The man who was looking back at me was wearing the fanciest suit in the entire realm. Every single thing that I use and wear was made exclusively for me that’s why other than me, there was no one else in this realm who had the same dresses and possessions. But that was the only thing I knew about myself.
“You… who are you?” I whispered. The dark thoughts, the overthinking, and the doubts felt like they were all crippling my system.