I TRIED to control my emotions before I gently lifted his face to meet his eyes.
I tried so hard to smile to reassure him even if what I really wanted to do was to sit on the ground and weep. But I could not break down in front of Jasper. It will only weaken his resolve, he would only worry more. And I could not be that selfish. My pain and misery should be mine only. He did not have to carry my cross, too. I wanted to at least, do that for him. Because when I was in his age, I did not experience what he was experiencing now.
Once upon a time, I was able to live the life that I wanted. And I dreamt of him to experience the same thing.
“I’m sorry. I was just surprised, that’s all,” I said in a softer voice. “But I can’t just give up on our mother, Jas, especially when I was the one who put her through that. Because I was the one who was supposed to be lying on that bed and not her.” My eyes began to water. “Doing this is the least that I could do for her and for my own sanity as well. Giving her up would be like giving up on myself, too. And I can’t bear that. I know that if she’s in my shoes, she would have done the same thing for me. Because that’s what Mommy’s like. She would do anything for us.” I tried to smile. “The things I’m doing now would not even be enough to compensate for what she’s done to me and to our family. I haven’t even apologized to her yet, Jas. I still need to say it. And she has to hear it.”
“But-“
“No matter what you say, I will wait for Mommy to wake up. And I don’t care how long it would take. The thing that you said I lost? It’s just a dream. I can dream another dream once she wakes up. But we can’t have another mother once I give her up. But thank you, Jasper. Thank you so much.”
“W-what for?”
“I’m convinced now that you just wanted to help our family. But if you really wanted to help, then I urge you to do the right thing. Return the wallet to its owner.” I took his hand and placed the wallet on top of it. “If ever the old woman was no longer in the waiting shed, find a way to contact her. I’m sure she had her contact details in her wallet. Don’t lose yourself just to help your sister.” I gently wiped his tears. “I’m not proud of what you did. But I’m proud to be your sister, Jas. I’ve always been. And I’m sorry if I’ve been failing to make you realize that. It’s true that I’m willing to do everything for our family but aren’t you the same? If I lasted this long, it’s because of all of you. Besides, you’re wrong. I still haven’t done my best yet.” I shook my head and smiled bitterly. “If I did, then none of these wouldn’t have happen. And we won’t be having this kind of conversation.”
“If you catch me crying, it’s just because I’m missing our parents. And if you truly love me, then Jas, I need you to trust me one more time. I need you to trust that I can at least do this much for us; that I can provide for us.” I caressed his cheek. “Let me handle this. You’re still too young. You know what you really ought to do? It’s to enjoy your youth. Do this for me, Jas. Because you can never have this kind of time in your life again.”
After embracing my brother, I quickly left. I didn’t turn to look at him for the last time because I was worried that he would see my tears. But I didn’t walk for a long time. A car suddenly stopped near me. And from there, a man came out. Aside from Jasper, he was the only man that I could trust now.
And when the man gently smiled at me, suddenly, my fears, worries, disappointments, uncertainties, and tears that I had been trying to hold back burst out all at once.

(Jeremiah)
THERE was no stronger person in the whole world other than a mother who would move mountains for her child, than a daughter who was determined to save her parent at all costs, than a sister who would shield her sibling from life’s cruelties, and Alison was all that and more. That’s what I’ve proven while staring at my best friend.
Then and now, for me, she was still every beautiful word that could be found in a dictionary.
It’s been more than a week now since I last saw Alison. When I was in Taiwan, I’d call her night after night to make sure she was doing all right. And she would always tell me that there was nothing to worry about, that she was okay. I have always known that there were so many things hiding behind that simple four-letter word of hers. And I have been waiting for her all these years to come around like she always did in the past.
But Alison just wouldn’t tell me the truth. She had a different meaning of “okay” now. She looked pale and extremely exhausted. She also had dark circles under her eyes. And I knew it was not just because she was lacking sleep. Even if she refuse to say it, I knew that she was not only physically tired.
There was urgency in the way she walked towards me. I saw her brother not too far away. And he was looking at us with such sad eyes. And then I understood why. I stepped closer to Alison. When I opened my arms, she ran to me and embraced me. I could feel her shaking. Her body was cold. Despite that, I waved and smiled at Jasper’s direction to pacify him.
“Don’t worry. I got this,” I mouthed.