“Calm down and remove what happened from your mind, Alison. What matters now is that you survived. And you are okay. All you need to remember is this: after you went to the helipad, you returned to your office. You started working again. There were problems along the way, but you were happy. You still think that it’s an amazing day because it really is. And after all the things that needs to be done in your office, you will go home, tired, but still feeling that it was the best day ever. Because that’s who you really are. That’s how your day was supposed to be. Now, close your eyes.”
I didn’t know why but I followed him. All I knew was that all the negative feelings in my chest quickly evaporated. And then I heard a loud snap.
When I opened my eyes, I was in my office, sitting on my swivel chair, holding a fountain pen, and a document on the other hand. My forehead creased when I glanced at my wristwatch. It was past one in the afternoon already which meant that lunch time was over. I remembered going to the helipad but I don’t remember anything afterwards.
I don’t even remember if I already had my lunch. Still puzzled, I put down the document on the table and held my chest. My heart was beating so fast. What happened? Why was my heart suddenly reacting this way?
The flashback stopped the second I saw Alexandros stepped closer to me.
“I’m glad you’re finally awake. I waited for you to wake up because there is something I need to tell you. Alison, you need to stop-“
“Are you okay?” I asked instead. I could almost guess what Alexandros wanted to say. It was written in his eyes. He would tell me to distance myself from him again or he would do something again to make me forget this day ever happened. He would provide another reason for me to walk away on my own.
And then when something happens to me again, Alexandros would appear and would remove my memories again as if nothing happened. It would go on and on for God knows how long. Alexandros could be cruel that way.
While he was walking closer and closer to me, so many things flashed my mind all at once. And those were the beautiful memories that he mercilessly took away from me. They were near-death experiences that would have become traumatic if not because of him. But he made those experiences become a blessing.
“How could you beat all of them in a matter of seconds?” Ever since I recovered my memories, one of the things that kept repeating in my mind was that particular conversation I had with him when he saved me from the men with creepy eyes and strange tattoos on their bodies.
Alexandros once told me that it was because of magic, something that I only believed in when I was a little girl, when I still read fairytales. I still don’t know what to feel about knowing that magic actually exists in real life. But I know one thing. Alexandros may be different but I don’t feel scared at all. Because he used his uniqueness in a good way.
During the situations that I thought I wouldn’t survive, he was there. That’s why our differences were not so hard to accept. Because from the beginning, I already had a feeling that he was far from ordinary. Even the emotions that he makes me feel weren’t ordinary, too.
From the beginning, I knew that this thing between us was going to be hard, but it was not because of our differences. Because as the days go by without being able to see him, discovering the answers to my questions became less and less significant. And maybe it was not all about the answers, at all.
I fell in love with an incredibly unusual man and I realized that I have to embrace his uniqueness if I still wanted to see him.
Looking at him now, I’ve also realized that I would have loved to embrace that uniqueness as tightly as I could. For the first time in my life, I have fallen in love. And even if it hurts, I’m open to the possibility of not being loved back.
But seeing Alexandros like this hurts me more because I could see the same look in his eyes, it was something that I know I also have right now as I stare at him. It shows that there could be hope. But I could also see him fighting so hard against it like it was some sort of a plague that he needed to destroy as early as possible.
“Alison-“
“Can you let me talk this time? You’ve already said your piece back at the radio station. Don’t you think it’s only fair to say mine? Come on, let’s practice give and take. I listened to you back then so it’s only fair that you listen to me this time,” I said before I stepped closer and did not hesitate to embrace Alexandros. I felt his body tensed, but I did not let go.
I was afraid to let go. I was afraid that in a blink of an eye, he would vanish in front of me. I softly patted his back.
“You are okay. Even if you’re in pain right now, I want you to know that you are doing okay, Alexandros. You get to help so many people and that makes your whole existence so meaningful,” I whispered. My chest tightened. “I don’t know who or what you are. All I know is that you are not from this world. You told me that yourself before. But I believe that there is a special reason why you are here. “Before you made me forget our very first encounter, I was so worried about you. But I prayed that you’d be alive and well somewhere."