“SO, you’re saying that two people could meet many times for no reason at all?” Alison asked. She sounded surprised. “That he just happened-I mean you just happened-to show up at the right place and time whenever I need you? Then how could you explain you coming straight to my office that night when I was almost hurt? Are you saying that you were in my office without a reason when we are not supposed to know each other?”
Damn. I think I invited trouble for myself. How could Alison remember something that she was not supposed to? I don’t know if my power was getting weak or her resistance to magic was getting stronger because she’s been familiar with it ever since I started being around her.
The temperature was freezing inside my studio but I found myself sweating buckets. “First of all, I never told you that me and ‘that’ person you are referring to is the same. I don’t even remember ever meeting you, Miss Flora, much more going to some stranger’s office. I’m also a busy person and I don’t have that much time in my hands,” I answered after a while even if what I really wanted to say was the opposite.
Alison was trying to hold onto me and by doing that, she was creating a seed of hope in my chest. And it made me want to try holding on to her, too. I noticed that it was always so easy for humans to do that, but it was hard for people like me. That’s why I had to remove that seed as early as possible. I was worried that seed might grow in my chest only to be cut off mercilessly when it was already as enormous as a tree.
I’ve been through that many times before.
Not to mention that it would be better for Alison if I would just remain in her memories. In Alison’s memories, in her past, that was where I truly belong. It was a sin to aim for something more than that. If only we happened to meet in the past when my life was not like this yet, then I wouldn’t have missed this chance.
I wouldn’t have let her go.
Alison deserved to be courted, to be taken care of, to be loved and to be treated just as preciously as she treated everybody else around her. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. But we were the unlucky ones who met at a really unlucky time.
In an alternate universe, Alison, maybe there is hope for us… maybe there’s a chance for us. And one lucky day, I hope to meet you there, I uttered inwardly before I spoke again.
“This world doesn’t offer fairytales, Flora. This world offers reality. And it was usually harsh. But that’s the truth. There are some people who aren’t made for each other no matter how many times they meet. I don’t want to crush your hope but that happens. But I don’t blame you for thinking that something special was going on between the two of you because of those encounters because that’s a human’s natural reaction. They have this tendency to romanticize things; they try to find reason in every single thing and in every single person that they meet, expecting that things will fall into place through that. And I’m sorry, but I think that’s being foolish.”
The second I said those words, I wanted to take them back as quickly as I could. Because even if I don’t see Alison’s reaction right now, I could already guess the emotion written in her eyes. That was how transparent she was. But I already started this. So instead of stopping, I went on and decided to be cruel.

“WE SHOULDN not trap ourselves or the people we meet in our expectations. That would be unfair not just for us but also for others.”
“DJ-“
“And like I said, I believe you got the wrong person. Maybe you wanted to see him so badly that you mistook me for him. You can check again if you want. We are living in a vast world, Flora. The name Alexandros Sormont might be everywhere. And maybe we just looked alike. When that Alexandros told you that you should stay away from people like him, then maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe you ought to listen to him. Because maybe the two of you are not really meant to be together. Maybe both of you are bad for each other. But don’t worry, if you try hard enough, rest assured, you would be able to forget him anytime soon. Thank you for sharing your story with us, Flora. Here’s a song for you…”
I covered my face with my hands upon remembering that. Before Alison could say another word at that time, I already ended the call. That moment, I felt all my wounds bleed again. That conversation took place a few days before the bus accident. And now, Alison was in my very own domain. It was torture having her this close to me.
I don’t get to hear a confession like that every day especially from a woman as special as Alison. And I was honored. I admired her for being so brave to do something like that. But what she did just broke me all the more. Because it just reminded me that there were plenty of things that were in front of me and within arm’s reach but I could not even touch them.
And even if Alison ended up accepting who I am, I couldn’t give her any assurance. She had no future with me. With me, she would get to experience the ugliest and the most horrible things. With all my enemies coming in and out of the mortal world, I would not be able to give her a moment of peace. I would just destroy her beautiful beliefs in life.