AGAIN, I bit my lower lip to stop myself from talking back. Fortunately, my daughter was currently in the kitchen. I don’t want her to hear any of these. Greta spares no one. She would say whatever she wanted anytime and anywhere she felt the need to do so.
When she finally left the room, I pressed my forehead.
Oh, God… People said that every obstacle was meant to strengthen a person. But I don’t feel stronger. All I could feel was weariness. I was just tired… so tired that if the heavens would decide to take my life this very minute, I would even be thankful. But I shook my head and immediately drove the thought away when I remembered my mother, my sibling, Nana Marcia, and Demi, my only child.
I took a couple of deep breaths before I struggled to move. I still need to go to the hospital. When I stood up, I felt dizzy. I had to lean on the wall and shut my eyes for a few seconds. When I opened my eyes again, I realized that I was standing near the shelf filled with Greta’s books. Near the shelf was a life-sized mirror.
Before I knew it, I stepped closer to the mirror. A tear fell from my eye upon looking at my reflection. The woman there looked as if she had been beaten by life. She looked broken. Her eyes used to sparkle so much. But now, all I could see were traces of shattered dreams, broken promises, false hopes, and flickers of exhaustion in the woman’s eyes.
God… where did the good times go?
I could no longer see the traces of the old me. I’ve become someone that even my own daughter could not be proud of. I’ve always dreamt to become a romance writer. And it came true. I became a writer and my works had been published. But my job was a secret. I’m not allowed to brag about it to anyone. Because the name on each book was not mine. Even the profile that could be seen on the last page of the book was not mine. I may have been the one to write the novels, but I don’t own them.
Because I have become Greta’s ghostwriter.
After a few minutes, I tapped my shoulder. Aside from my own self, I don’t have anyone to comfort me. I struggled to put on a smile as my tears fell. “Endure it,” I told myself in a broken voice. “Endure it some more, Alison, for your family’s sake.”

MY MOUTH opened in disbelief when I recognized the guy who was in the middle of attempting to steal the wallet of an old woman who was standing beside him in the waiting shed while waiting for the bus. The tension, anxiety, and fear were evident in the guy’s face but in the end, he still continued what he was doing until he finally succeeded in stealing the wallet.
They were on the road near Demi’s school. When the guy ran away, I quickly ran as well to chase him. I saw him stopped and hid under a big tree. He was out of breath as he leaned on the tree before opening the wallet. I caught him smile out of relief when he saw the money inside.
“Jasper!” I said in a firm voice to catch the attention of my younger brother. He was my only sibling. He instantly turned pale after seeing me. I was sweating profusely when I approached him and snatched the wallet from him.
“We just talked this morning, didn’t we? You said that you have a thesis to work on that’s why you’d be coming home late. Is this part of the thesis you were talking about?”
“No, sis, let me explain-“
“What have you been doing to your life, huh?” When I could no longer stand it, I slapped him, but I regretted it right away when I saw how pain crossed his eyes. This was my first time to yell at him and to hurt him. But I did not try to console him this time. Because I felt like I had been stabbed on the back.
I’m disappointed in him, but I’m more disappointed in myself. And I pity myself more for this. Because for Jasper to do this meant that I’m lacking as the head of our family. And deep inside, I knew it, too. But it was something that was too hard to swallow.
“I know that I’m lacking in so many ways, Jas. That’s the reason why I’ve been trying so hard to work for all of us these past years. I never stop working my ass off, you know that. But even if we’re struggling, I was hoping that I didn’t fail when it came to guiding you at least, in acting as your older sister, and in becoming a good example to you. Because that’s the only thing I can be proud of. But because of what you did, I realized that I failed even in that aspect. Why, Jasper? Why did you do that?”
I smacked his chest over and over again when he did not respond. “This place is so close to your niece’s school! She looks up to you, you know that! What if she sees the Uncle she adores so much doing such thing? God… Jasper. What were you thinking? And what if the owner of this wallet badly needs money, too? Didn’t you even consider that? What if she actually needs the money more than we do?” I added miserably while still hitting him on the chest. “You have no mercy.” My voice broke. “I already have so much on my plate right now. Why did you have to make me worry, too?”
“That’s the point. I did this for you. My method was wrong, I know, but I was just trying to help our family. Our landlady talked to me yesterday. We’ve been failing to pay the rent for months now."