I have always wanted to become a romance writer. And that dream started when I was in high school, when I read Aunt Bettina’s novels. She was a romance writer and she was my stepdad’s younger sister. She was also my idol. I wanted to create stories as engaging as Aunt Bettina’s.
She had an only child and it was Greta. Both of us had shown interest in writing which made Aunt Bettina happy. That’s why in her free time, she would teach us the basics of writing. Greta and I started in writing poems, essays, and short stories.
And Aunt Bettina had always believed in my works. She would always tell me that one day, I would become a greater writer than her. Aunt Bettina was no longer alive. She died more than a year ago because of cancer. But the hope that the old, charming woman gave me remained deep inside me. It was like a candle that was just waiting to be lit. And I hold the lighter, I hold the fire that will lead me to my dreams.
But no matter how I want to, I could never light the candle. I don’t have the courage to do that if it meant I would end up becoming a disappointment to my parents. In the end, I had to let go of the lighter.
Because the path that I chose was different. It was far from the quiet and private life that I would have wanted for myself. My parents, especially, my stepdad, chose my life path for me when I was younger, when I was still unsure of who or what I wanted to become.
Jeremiah told me so many times before that he would back me up. All I need to do was say the word and he would help me explain everything to my parents. But I can't do that. I can't change my mind now. It was too late for that.
“DJ Ros? Are you still there?”
I shook my head for the countless time when I heard the caller’s agitated voice again. I was about to turn off the stereo but my hand froze when I heard the disk jockey’s voice.
“Yeah, sorry about that. We had a minor technical error earlier. Now, back to your story, you have a point there, but I would still have to disagree with you, Jessie,” the DJ replied after a long while.
I got what I wanted. I was finally distracted. My heart pounded. I’m sure that the disk jockey’s voice was the same voice that I’ve been hearing in my dreams these past few nights. So the stranger from the hotel last time was a DJ. The first time I saw him, he seemed cold and indifferent that’s why I never imagined that he would be giving love advices to random people on air.
“Sometimes, we have to hurt the people we love not because we love them less. But because we love them so much. And hurting them is like hurting ourselves.” I don’t know if it was just me or there really was a hint of bitterness in his voice. “When we love someone, as much as possible, we would do everything in our power not to hurt them. But it was a different matter when it comes to their safety.”
“You really think so?”
“Yeah. It hurts to be left alone by the ones we love. But it hurts to leave, too. Not because he was the one who left doesn’t mean that he didn’t get hurt anymore. There are people who leave not because they want to, Jessie. But simply because they have no choice. And some of them probably wanted to come back every day, but sometimes, things happen, terrible things, that stop them from coming back.”
“You mean I should give him a chance?” The caller asked.

“WHETHER you give him a chance or not is up to you, Jessie. I’m just saying that you could at least, hear him out so he could explain his side. You have a lot of questions, right? Then tell him all the things you wanted to say. You owe it to him and you owe it to yourself, too. Set yourself free from the questions that had been chaining you down for quite some time now. That’s the only way you can heal.”
I could not help but nod while listening. The man’s voice had always been compelling. His voice was music itself. Even the ones who was not fond of listening to the radio would want to listen to him. And his words… they were admirable. It was like he was speaking straight from his heart. It was as if he had already experience being alone left and being the one to leave the one he loved, too.
“I will remember that. Thank you, DJ Ros. My head became a little clearer now. I will make sure to call you again once things got settled between him and me.”
The DJ chuckled. “You’re welcome. Good luck, Jessie. Here’s a song for you, and for someone out there who is dealing with a lot of stress lately, for someone who is listening for the first time tonight in this station, and for someone who is stuck in the heavy traffic as she listens in her car right at this very minute with a knot on her forehead. You are finally out from work and you had a long day. You can free your mind from worries now. On your way home, you can buy your comfort food, listen to your favorite music, or sleep as soon as you reach your bed.”
God… listening to his voice was comforting enough.
“It sounds as if you have a specific person whom you are referring to, DJ Ros.”
Again, he laughed. “Actually, there is. To you, if you are listening right now, stop thinking about anything for a moment. Don’t even try to think about the solutions to your problems and just rest. Consider this instead as a reward to yourself for enduring up until now. Anyway, this song is entitled Wherever You Are by South Border. Thank you for listening, everyone. Good night.”