WHILE WALKING, he did nothing but tease me from behind. I just keep walking. What he says about me is that I am grumpy, speak harshly, have a bad attitude, and so on. Everything he said is true, but I don't know why I'm annoyed and he keeps insulting me.

I know myself better than he does so there is no need to elaborate.

I did nothing but put what he was saying into one ear and let it out the other. My eyes rolled a few more times every time he praised the shape of my body.

Duh! He should calm down himself. It's just me.

Hearing his teasing, I stopped walking. I took a deep breath before turning and faced him with an annoyed smile.

"Aren't you going to stop?"

He raised both hands as if he was surrendering to the police.

"Alright, I'll stop now, Queen."

I make a face.

He even put his right arm on his left waist while bowing as if he was bowing to a true queen.

After all, I really am a queen. Queen of men eager for the flesh.

When he looked up, I felt a strange pounding in my chest. It became soft in my eyes and it seemed that the lifting of his face kept flashing in my eyes.

I glimpsed the curve of his red lips. It was smiling and that smile was for me. And what I don't understand is, why does my chest feel like it's heavy?

What is it again?

-flashback-

"Let's take a picture together!" I wrapped my arms around his nape. "One... two... smiles!" I said while holding my phone in front of our face.

"Another one. C'mon, kiss me," He pointed to his cheek.

"No. I won't do that. Mom said, don't kiss a guy if he is not your husband." I hit him right away. I frowned and bowed. "Do you want me to kill you?"

When I looked up, his face met me, it was so close to me that I could see every detail of it. His beautiful eyes, his sharp nose, even his small and red lips.

In the wide sea, in the shade of towering trees, in the abundance of each sand, in the setting sun... I witnessed the most beautiful smile I have seen in my entire life.

I've seen many boys smile especially at school, I've met many boys who smiled at me, I've seen many laugh too much, but his smile is the most beautiful.

I was just eight years old. But I do know what's running on my mind. And I hate it.

-end-

"You are spacing out again, my Queen." I managed to stand straight when I heard Cloud's voice. He was currently sitting on a single sofa not far from where I was sitting. He was looking at me intently while frowning.

Damn, the last thing I remember, we were just walking a while ago. Am I really spacing out so I don't remember how we got here?

"Woah. Is this your house?" none of my own behavior while fighting his gaze. My hands were shaking for some unknown reason. Even my knees are like candles that are going out and are weak. I immediately sat down.

I hit my head and closed my eyes tightly. I felt Cloud quickly stand up and sit next to me.

"Are you all right, Victoria?" There was concern in the tone of his voice. "What happened to you?"

When I opened my eyes, our eyes accidentally met. Although I was dizzy from what was happening, I fought the feeling that I couldn't let go of.

"What time is it?"

Anxious, my hands are cold and shaking. For some unknown reason, I suddenly became nervous. It was as if I was suddenly hurt for no reason.

I feel like I want to fall to the side and pour all the tears there, I want to hurt my chest because it keeps getting tight, I want to take a deep breath and blow it out forcefully.

But why? For what reason?

When Cloud's eyes met again, I could see his concern again. From the expression on his face, it's like he has a lot to say but doesn't know where to start, it's like he wants to tell something but he's having second thoughts, it's like he wants to tell something but something's holding him back.

I don't know what to do. I want to get up to leave this place but something seems to stop me from moving. I want to break the silence but his eyes say just look at him in that position. I want to take back our fighting glances, but his eyes staring straight at me are just so attractive. And I want him... I want to kiss him like I am longing for him.

Longing that no flesh calls, longing that demands retribution, longing that cannot be satisfied.

While our eyes are freely gazing, while my heart continues to be nervous, while his gaze continues to speak to me, while my chest continues to tighten voluntarily, while the surroundings silently adapt to us ...

He slowly lowered his gaze to my lips. It's not the first time I've kissed, it's not the first time a man's eyes have met my blushing lips, it's not the first time I've been with a man.

But why am I so nervous? But why is he different? Why am I not normal?

I want to cut off any tension between the two of us because I'm not like this. This is not me. I'm not obsessed with a man.

I want to speak. Even a cheap one. To break our gaze but like before, I feel those gazes absorbing me.

Fuck! What is happening to me makes me feel like a fool. Wake up, Victoria! It's not you.

He slowly brought his face closer to mine. He could have easily pressed our lips together but for some inexplicable reason, it was slow. As he slowly made his way to my face, butterflies began to fly inside my stomach. There is something in my stomach that seems to be boiling but not hungry, it seems to tickle me.

After all, I could keep him from touching our lips, but there was no protesting from me. I closed my eyes wholeheartedly to feel the coming passionate kiss.