Chapter 34

2 years after

AIDEEN'S (P.O.V)

I parked my car, went out as I call Rico.

"Hey, where are you? Damn boy why did you call me when your girlfriend is here with us? She keeps on stomping like a 4-year-old kid" Rico answered my call with his noisy voice.

"Will you stop talking? And can't you just ask and nothing else?" My brows from into a thin line, not having a good day is too much already. "Where are you at? Do I really need to come? I have lots of tasks to do" Rico snickered.

"Look at this man he keeps on telling me to stop talking and asking but he himself, has a lot of questions in one sentence too" I heard their chuckles.

"Whatever, you tell me where the hell you at or I will just go back to my car and drive to work" With that, he directly went serious

"Come on! Give yourself a chill time. We're at the Starbucks on the path on the left side of the grocery, hurry up"

"Okay" said by me and end the call.

Started to walk towards the entrance when a little boy bump into me.

"Ouch!" He yelled, he made me laugh at his reaction remembering how am I back then when I bump into someone.

"I'm sorry little boy. Are you hurt somewhere?" Asked him kneeling to meet his gaze

"First of all I am not a little boy I'm a grown-up man and secondly, Yes I am hurt yes" his voice cracked down as he said yes

"Let's find your parents, wait who is with you?"

"My mommy, daddy, and my sister"

''Okay, what is your mommy's name?" Looked at him hoping he would know his mother's name.

He was about to answer me but a familiar voice called the little boy's name.

"Blaizé!" The woman's voice sounded like her

"Mommy" the boy called and ran towards the woman.

"Ow, my God Baby, where have you been? You naughty kid you made mommy anxious" The woman sighed heavily "you're not hurt anywhere are you?"

"I am so very sorry for making you worry about me mother, I'm fine thanks to this old man. He helped me" I think the little boy point his little finger at me. All this time I was not looking, my back is facing them.

"Thank you, Mr.?" The woman's voice really sounds like her. I turn around to face them.

There our gazes greeted each other.
How I've missed those soulful eyes of her. Her stare and her whole existence.

...

Their gaze met.

It is as though it were making her dive into a deep glorious ocean. She knows those eyes very well. They were once what she calls home. It brings memories of a small white apartment in the heart of New York.

AIDEEN'S  (P.O.V)

She wasn't sad anymore.
Yes, it was dark but she made her own light making her find her way back to herself again.

Sadly that darkness was me. Realizing that was the most painful battle I've faced. I didn't want to be that darkness but I choose to be.

"Thank you " she broke our gazes to each other and she then looks at her son  "let's go? Your daddy and sister are waiting for us" the little boy nodded

"Thank you, Mister, I'm sorry for taking your time"  the little boy named Blaizé talked to me.

"Hon? Did you find Blaizé?" A man's figure stands in her back making me turn my gaze from her to him.

Jaden.

"Yes, I have found him" Rose looks at me before turning her back to face her husband. Blaizé smiled at me and walk towards Jaden

"Daddy" he called him dad. I don't know what to feel but I feel like I'm jealous. Why do I need to be jealous if he calls him daddy?

"Mr. Stone" Jaden's tone of voice occurs to be not good.

"Honey, don't. He helped Blaizé" Rose then hold his hand. My eyes were stuck on their hands as my hand-formed into fists. The tone of her voice is sweet and soft as she talks to him and it pains me.

"Really?" Jaden looks at her and Blaizé then the little boy nodded

"He did help me Dad" Blaizé

"I see, thank you, Mr. Stone. It's nice to see you again" Jaden's voice became soft.

"Your welcome. Nice to see you too" I nodded eyeing the little girl. "You all looking well" Smiling at them as if I was truly happy seeing the both of them together. Roseanna looked at me after I have said that, once again our eyes met and this time it was not that long as I gave up on her gapes, it's melting me.

"Babe?" Natasha's voice pop up Roseanna and Jaden both looked behind me. I turn around and saw Nathashia.

"Nathashia" called her surprised. I didn't know why would I be surprised but I am.

"We have been waiting for hours where have you been?" She then clung to me. I looked at her then look back at Roseanna "uh? Who? Wait Zoey? Ms. Zoey? Is it really you? " She directly asked can't believe that she's seeing Roseanna.

"Ow, yeah It's me and it's Mrs. Now" Roseanna smiled sincerely, she's so open about her being a wife now. She then looked at Jaden making my heart ache again. I looked away.

"Ow right. I forgot you still look like a fine single woman" Nathashia laughed politely

"Thank you" Roseanna then laughed "ow she should get going now. Our babies need to nap" with that I looked at her again, their babies?
I grabbed a look at the twin. Are you two Jaden's kids?

"Sure, sure. We should get going too" Nathashia

"Okay bye. See you around" there she looked at me "well get going Aideen Drew-" she cut her own words, the three of us looked at her but she only looks directly at my eyes she then blinked a couple of times.

"Aideen Drew?" Nathashia looked at us curiously "are you two a close friend?" She then turns her gaze from me to Roseanna

"No/No" Roseanna and I both answered no at the same time.

"Let's go honey" Jaden hold Roseanna's hands again

"I'm sorry. We're going and ow it's Mr. Stone" Roseanna put her hands on the little girls back guiding her to walk with them while Jaden hold the little boy's little hand.

"Babe?" Nathashia called, I looked away.

"What is it about now Nathashia? We should go" I walked ahead of her

"What took you so long?" Rico looked at the both of us as we arrived

"We ran into Ms. Zoey. Ow, it's Mrs. Zoey" Nathashia informed them. Both Rico and Sam looked at me, I did not mind them and take a sit as I order my drink.

"Ah, really? Did you talk?" Sam asked Nathashia but his face is facing me I shook my head looking over my coffee.

"Yeah, well not that much I just saw him talking together with Mrs. Zoey and her husband" Nathashia just couldn't stop talking. She points at me.

Sam and Rico both look at me again with a surprised faces visible on their faces "By the way Babe what did you two I mean Three talked about?" Nathashia then looked at me wanting to know the details. I did not want to answer that but the three of them is looking at me curiously. I sighed,

"I hump into that little boy named Blaizé. He got lost and I helped him then Roseanna shouted the little boy's name there I saw her then her husband appeared together with the little girl. They thanked me and I was planning to leave but the little boy keeps on chatting and I couldn't leave till Nathashia showed up" explaining about what happened but lying about the kid babbling. I took a sip on my coffee,

"Roseanna? Oh right, It's Mrs. Zoey's first name. Tell me honestly babe are you two close?" Nathashia just couldn't stop thinking about it, does she? I sighed, Why does she have to be like this?

"Stop it Nathashia I already answered that"

"I mean you both answered no in a hurry there must be something like-" Rico cut her off.

"Why would you say that?" Rick laughed. I know that's his awkward look.

"Mrs. Zoey called him by his name Aideen Drew when they are saying goodbye"

"And what's wrong with that? Everyone can call me by my name" I am getting full of her curiosity. I'm beginning to get annoyed.

"That is not my point!" She yelled

"Then what exactly is your point? I don't get you" I also yelled at her

"She called your name comfortably like she has already been calling you that way for years now" she exclaimed, that made me shut up. She noticed that?

"Guys, guys please we are not the only one in here" Rico shutting the both of us

"He's the one who I don't get! Why would he get mad?" Nathashia, she is now tearing up I sighed and look at Rico only to find out that he's glaring at me.

"I'm sorry. I have been busy with work lately my mind is still adjusting" I apologize calming down then held her face, wiping out the tears on her eyes.

"I'm sorry , I yelled it's your fault" she pouted that made me laugh.

"Don't cry okay? I'm sorry" I am still laughing so she gently hit me.

"You are indeed bad" she then laughed too.

"I'll just go to the restroom" I excused myself then the three of them nodded.

When I entered the restroom Rico entered too, I did not mind him and did my thing

"I thought you're over? Man fix yourself for good now" Rico suddenly bring that up

"I, too did thought I am over but I guess I am still not. Damn this is hard totally hard. I am fucked its been 4 years why can't I move on?" I looked at myself on the mirror.

"How about Nathashia? I can feel and see that your happy with her"

"I do love her but it isn't enough for me to choose her. Believe me I want to choose her but what can I do? My heart just won't let me choose her. Complicated aren't it? It's hella complicated"

"Let it go man. She's already married" Rico then washed his hands.

"You were married to my sister when you and Sam dated" I am saying that I still have a chance.

"We are different man. Wake up, don't be a mess again" his brows form a thin line.

"How are we different? As I see my situation it is not highly different than yours"

"Try looking on the main picture bud. Roseanna married Jaden because she found love in him. I married your sister because I am afraid that she would die because of me. Your sister and I are happy because I am seeing her live her life. Roseanna is happy because there was 'them', because she's with him." He said obviously telling me to give it up for once now.

"Am I wrong to love her, huh, man? I can't refuse it. I tried many times to forget how I feel since the very beginning you know that, you saw me trying but look at me I did not succeed. It's fucking hard for me to move on. Fuck this shit I feel like I am a woman begging for understanding about my feelings." I almost whacked the mirror but luckily I stopped myself. "If love, if feelings can be controlled then I should have been controlling it for me to not get this far. Believe me man I did not want myself to experience this. If only I can choose who I want to love then I wouldn't have to look at her. Loving her is making me feel like I am doing a big sin. How can love makes me feel a sinner? I just love her but why is it so hard loving her?"

"You love her, indeed yes. But the question is, does she feel the same way? Let's say she did love you before but you blew that out by being to crazy over her. You made her feel wrong for loving you back then" He then walk towards the door, pat my shoulder when he reach me "this may sound so fucking gay but your my best friend bud, so I want the best for you. In any path you will choose I am here supporting you but please bud choose what's the best for you and what makes you live free"  Rico left me with that hefty words.

I stared at my reflection on the mirror and muttered ' I should be fixing myself if I want to be happy!'
'Can I just live happy and well? I am done suffering'
'Since I was just a kid I exist to suffer'

I know that Roseanna was deeply hurt by me but little did she know everytime I go home and saw her lying in bed with tears in pains me. When she's trying hard to look at me bravely, when she's smiling but pain is striking in her eyes, pains me. The pain she's feeling stings me the pain she suffers is making me suffer in silence too. The pain is doubled as it hits me because I am the one who cause her all of that pain. She was not the only one who's hurt. I am also awfully hurt. Why does she now live a pleasant life with someone else while I'm here suffering the pain she left for me. She leave me without any words, she just suddenly vanished out of nowhere making me go crazy after I recover she would just came back with a child and a fiancee, got married like I was not existing in her eyes.

After all those thoughts I returned to our table and saw Nathashia smiling widely while talking to Sam. I sighed and walk towards them

...
"Can it just be you Nath?" That question suddenly went out off my mouth as we're entering my car.

"Me? For what?" She faced me innocently

"Whom I love and the one I will choose till the end?" Looking at her as I uttered those words.

"Silly of course, I can be that someone who you will love" she then laughed beautifully "but of course, it is still up to you" Moving her shoulder up and down.

"Why?"

"Just because we are together does not mean that I'm gonna control you especially your feelings and decisions. I may be your girlfriend but you have your own decisions in life and I am just a part of it" she smiled at me and it made me stare at her I was like asking myself 'how can I hurt this beautiful angel in front of me?' "Why are you saying such things like this would be the last of us?" She laughed at me so I also laugh lightly as I can.

"Nothing, it just came to my mind" I shook my head then stared the engine and drove off.

"You know babe" after minutes of silent she spoke again and sighed deeply

"Hmm?" I responded taking glance at her then back to the road.

"When there will be a time that you have to choose and I am one of the choices, do you think you will choose me?" She suddenly asked that made me stop the car in the middle of the road. I look at her "Can you still protect me and wipe away my tears when that time comes?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I? I am your-" she cut me off and I did not expect what she added,

"Even if she will shed more tears than me? Even if she is hurting much more than me?" With what she asked, it made me imagine a scenario between us and Roseanna. Even just imagining it my heart feels more pain looking at Roseanna than with Nathashia "okay let's seriously stop HAHAHA. I know you will definitely choose me for anything, am I right? Hehe you are shocked I got you" after that she kissed me. I close my eyes and kissed her back till our kiss deepened.

"Babe" she moaned my name and pull my head closer.

"Rose" I muttered, she suddenly stopped on kissing me so I opened my eyes and it grow bigger as I saw Nathashia's face. I tried to myself chill and thankfully I did " Nathashia what's wrong?" Asking her like I did nothing

"Rose? Really? Who is she? Why would you call that name when you're  kissing me" she exclaimed, right she's mad.

"Rose? She? It's a flower's name. I called you Rose because your mouth smelled like a Rose. You know Rose is my favorite flower" I explained looking at her with a question look hoping inside that she would bite my excuse.

"Really?" She then smiled. I slowly let out the breath I was holding and smiled back nodding my head saying yes then drive again. I bit my lower lips

Fuck it that was close.

Even in my kiss with her you are still the one in my head.

How can I get over you Roseanna?