“YOU HAVE to attend the wedding, Brianna. You are Stella’s only sibling. The guests would question our family if you wouldn’t show up. I don’t want them to spread bad rumors about us.”
If only I didn’t inherit most of Lourdes’ physical attributes, I would have doubted if the woman sitting in front of me was my real mother. Because Lourdes had never been a good mother to me.
“Wow, I’m jealous. You’re concerned about what other people would think about. But you never gave a damn about what your own daughter would feel,” I said sarcastically as my chest tightened. “How can you just tell me to show up at the wedding like nothing happened? Are you really that heartless, ‘Ma? I could have been Kristoff’s bride!”
Had I known that this was what we would talk about, I would have left sooner. This morning, I was about to head out of my apartment to attend a meeting with my Editor when my mother came carrying a medium-sized box which apparently had my gown in it. And I was supposed to wear that in my half-sister’s wedding that would take place three weeks from now. This made me feel like my whole family was taunting me by making me the maid-of-honor.
Stella was my mother’s daughter from another man. I’m twenty-eight now and Stella was four years younger than me. And she took advantage of our age gap. Since I was older, I was forced to give in and to become more understanding even if my sister was being a royal pain in the ass. I accepted all the mistreatments because at that time, I was still living in the mansion which was owned by Lourdes’ second husband.
I was originally from Baguio. I was raised by my father who worked as a teacher there. My mother left when I was still a baby. When my father died in a car accident, Lourdes showed up. That was the first time I ever saw her in person. She took me to Manila where her new family lived.
I studied hard and took Creative Writing in college. After I graduated on top of my class, I moved out of the mansion and rented an apartment since I could no longer stomach the insults that I get from Stella who hated me from the first day we saw each other.
But even if I moved out, Stella still kept testing my patience. Each time I would find a guy I liked and was about to say ‘yes’ to him, something would always happen. And before I knew it, Stella would end up as their girlfriend. She would always seduce them behind my back.
I thought Kristoff was different because I knew him since high school. He was a pilot and our relationship went on for two years without any problems. He was the first man I have ever loved. We were supposed to get married. But the day after our engagement party in Lourdes’ mansion where we all slept over, I saw my sister and Kristoff in the guest room, they were sleeping naked on one bed together.
My world was shattered when I saw a trace of blood on the bed sheet. Now, everything had changed. Stella became Kristoff’s bride-to-be since Lourdes insisted that he take responsibility for what happened unlike me. I’m still a virgin because I planned on surrendering myself completely to Kristoff on our supposed to be first night as husband and wife.
And as if that wasn’t enough, the two would exchange vows on the exact same date that Kristoff and I were supposed to get married.
Kristoff insisted that Stella put something in his drink, that he had no idea what happened, and that I was the one he loved. But he got Stella pregnant that’s why he had no choice but to succumb in the end. And even if it hurts, I was even the one who encouraged him to marry my sister because I didn’t want the baby to suffer.
All that happened just three months ago. Stella and Kristoff’s wedding will take place next month.
I struggled not to cry when I looked up to meet my mother’s eyes. “I’m your daughter, too, ‘Ma. Please stop hurting me like this.” I stood up before my tears could fall. “I’m late for my meeting. I have to leave now. Kindly lock the door when you leave. And please, take that box with you.”
I was about to head out the door when Lourdes spoke.
“Kristoff is not the only man in the world, Brianna. Don’t throw your family away just because of him. It’s been three months already. Just accept things as they are and move on-“
“That’s the point, ‘Ma,” I answered without turning to look at her. “It happened just three months ago and not three years ago. It’s been only three months since your precious daughter stole my fiancé away from me. Kristoff and I were together for more than two years. I’m not like you who could easily forget the people who matters to me. You and I are different.”
“What are you saying?”
My tears fell down my cheeks when I heard the danger beneath her voice. “I’m just saying that you should have killed me instead. That way, I would only have to deal with the pain once. And not like this. You kill me almost every day, ‘Ma. Have mercy,” I added before walking away.

(Ingram)
“WHEN you try your best, but you don't succeed. When you get what you want, but not what you need. When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep. Stuck in reverse. And the tears come streaming down your face. When you lose something, you can't replace. When you love someone but it goes to waste. Could it be worse...”
A soft smile curved on my lips as I stand and play the guitar inside the bar. My eyes were only looking in one direction the whole time. And it was the spot where Brianna was sitting. She was alone on her table and drinking her heart out.