I smile sadly while looking at the horizon. The sky looks like a canvass spilled with hues of oranges and purple. I heave a sigh.

“Those things could mean nothing, though. You know, I suck at memorization. Even when comprehension is what matters more, if I can't memorize the basics, it's useless. For instance, the formulas in geometry and physics. How can I comprehend and solve for the problems if even in memorization of formulas, I have poor knowledge already?" I spat.

He messed my hair in a slight manner. I notice that it is one of the things he always do to me when we're together. He looks gently at me and tells, “I get your point but don't just dwell on memorization. The dates, names, meanings, or even the ideas recorded in your brain will eventually be forgotten over time. But your perceptions and stance on things? Who knows, those might be your own therapeutic weapon in life.”

Speechless that I am, I don't know what to say. I couldn't grasp for any possible rebut that would completely wipe out what he has said. Aside from that, what he said is true. All those names of whoever persons they might be who contributed into something, none of them had stayed in my mind except for the common knowledge like Einstein and Da Vinci.

He towers over me. His brows get darker as he block the setting sun rays and faces me. I secretly swallow because the organ inside my chest is thumping so hard again.

He licks his lips before he says, “Did you know that I sometimes envy you?”

"N-Nope. But why? People like you should be the ones being envied by.”

“The pressure in acads most of the time is tiring. I need to be consistent to make my parents proud. That's the only time I would be clapped for. After that, the "you should do this and that" will be back from my parents' mouth. It's choking me to the core. Sometimes, I want to break free but when I really think about it, I would be best at nothing for I didn't try to learn and explore other things. I let myself stuck with mere acads alone that's why I shouldn't let myself give up on it. I am nothing without my name included in the top so tell me why shouldn't I be envious of you? I even feel intimidated whenever your mind speaks. Always.”

Hearing what he has said, realization dawns on me as I gaze through the sky. “Maybe, it's just a matter of perspective? But I think, we shouldn't consider someone lucky just because they can have those things we badly want without knowing their backstory.”

“Sure enough. Anyway, why are you so talkative right now? It's not that I'm complaining. I just wanna know. I mean, if it's okay for you,” he said.

I pout and clasp my sweating hands again. Rico is really annoying. I'm becoming conscious again. The mood is getting killed and I feel anxious that anytime, I'm gonna run out of words!

My lips protrude. “You make sense to talk now, eh. But I still can't help but worry about the future. I don't know which path I'm going to take. I don't want to grow old!”

He messes my hair again.

“You're worrying too much about things that haven't come yet. You too, you'll grow old because of that.”

I looked at him curiously. “Why? Are you the YOLO kind of person?”

“Sometimes?” he answers. “Even now, I enjoy our conversation even though I don't know where we're going.”

That's when recognition dawns on me that there are no houses beside the road anymore. It's just a pure field of rice plants. The road, it gets narrower. Damn it! Which village have we reached?

“All the houses around us are gone. Wait, where are we?” I asked him.

The cold caress of the wind didn't help because my nervousness grew even more. The back of my knee, they turn numb as we turn around to go back. The surroundings are also getting dark.

“Look at the arc. It says,” Welcome to Brgy. Damania " so that means, this is the second village we have reached,” he said.

“That's why my feet hurt to walk. It's because of you!”  I nag.

“Okay fine. Let it go, we're both tired so let's just walk back home,” he raises his brow.

Until we were too tired to get home. I let him rest there for a while while Mommy just watched him carefully. I hope he wasn't crept out. I also gave him a glass of water before he gets off.
I can still remember our awkward goodbyes. The fact that we had that kind of conversation and Rico being open to what he wants to say make my heart warms with overwhelming feelings.

If I have the power to intervene time, I would immediately make the days longer than they are just to make this moment more than just a short-lived memory. Maybe I would double the minutes, or bring the hour hand back to eight whenever the clock strikes twelve. If only it's possible. But the clock always talks so loud, reminding us of the opportunities and leisure time we could've had.

I am now in my room, lying in my bed, staring widely at the ceiling. There are already some cobwebs on the right corner. It's been a long time since I last cleaned the room. Why am I noticing it just now?

I got up for a moment to glance at the shelves and cabinets. The picture frames are all in the same position. My clothes aren't messy either. I drop my head on the pillow again.

I glanced at the curtain violently slamming the railing. I just forgot to close the window. So I stand up and do it. The fabric immediately soothes after being separated from the wind.

I looked around the rest of my room. Nothing's moving. Nothing is working beyond their accustomed places. Nothing is odd, actually. What the fudge? There's no point to feel upset right now.

I ended up staring at the wall, repeating the conversations we had earlier at the projector of my mind. What's up, Freesia? It is early in the morning and I am not yet drowsy.

I get up again and try to fish my phone beneath my pillow when a sudden notification buzzes.

Rico:
Are you still awake?