ROSEANNA'S (P.O.V)

My 2018 just ended but my heart is ripped. Everyone welcome the new year happily and let go of the past year peacefully but not me I didn't enjoy the new year and I didn't welcome it with big hands.

I was peacefully lying on the gardens Bermuda grass

"Zoey, you having lunch? Let's go" it was Sam.

"No, thank you. You can eat without me Sam" I said still closing my eyes. I felt her steps walking close to me.

"It's better to show us that you're not ok, that you're hurt rather than to hide it." She said then lay beside me. I opened my eyes and look at her. " Cause that way people who are close to you can easily know how to comfort you." She added.

"Showing people that you hurt us is a sign of weakness, and I am strong enough to keep it for myself, Sam," I said and then stared at the sky. The sky is wonderful it's a piece of art at the moment, but one tiny little cloud is slowly mixing others with its dark color. " Just look at the sky, you can see that it is so beautifully wonderful that people would love to lay in the grass and watch it. But that little cloud will make them run if they see them they are scared of that cloud because that is a sign of rain coming." I added straightly therefore I was catching my breath after.

"Yeah, it's because the clouds aren't perfect just like you Roseanna. They are indeed wonderful to see but when they turn to dark people starts to go away, afraid that there might be rain coming" Sam

"You just respected what I said." She laughed a little.

"But you know what? Clouds collect waters from land and sea but when they'll get enough of it they will turn black and drop back all the water they collected." She said then looked at me. " Do you understand what I'm talking about? Even if your strong enough to hold it on your own you need to let it go before you blast and broke down and then you'll explode." She added still looking at me I know she's convincing me to rely on her. "Don't be afraid to let them know how hurt and broken you are cause even the clouds, they didn't fear to let the world sees how dark they can be. I have something for you, just stay strong Roseanna we are here with you" she gets up, and then she left me speechless.

Do I need to let it all go? How broken am I? Even I don't know that.

I cleanse my mind and then I get up and went to the classroom.

As I was walking on the way to the classroom a message pop up on my phone.

'I've been waiting to
See you smiling
Your beautiful.' Unknown

'Who is this? Who are you?' I replied asking

'Someone who wish
to see your beautiful
Smile, Rose' Unknown

'Can you stop texting
Me if you don't have
A plan to introduce yourself?
Just who the heck are you?' I replied then turned my cellphone off.

__

I got home tired. I was busy reclaiming my position for Valedictorian, and countless paper works needed to be passed asap.

___

Rose wakes up when she felt someone touching her face.

"Hey, you haven't eaten dinner yet" It was James, her brother.

"Ow, I fell asleep," Roseanna said then get up and sit.

"You didn't eat lunch, Sam said. Now I'm making sure you'll eat dinner so I wake you up." James said then stand up from sitting on the bed.

"I'm not hungry. I'll just go down if I am"

"What is wrong with you? Are you destroying your life? Come on Roseanna don't act like a kid" He said losing his patients.

"I said I'm not hungry. I'll eat when I want okay? Stop it. I'm tired" Roseanna

"I don't know what to do with you anymore Roseanna. Please fix yourself" Her brother looked at her softly.

"Go out. I'm sleeping again" Roseanna said then she lay down turning her back from her brother.

James brushes his hands on his hair because of annoyance.

"Come on. What's going on with you? You don't want to talk to anyone. You lock yourself in here and sleep not mind that you haven't been eating. You're starving yourself to death and I'm going nuts thinking what to do with you" He stopped to catch his breath.
"I'm going insane Roseanna tell me what's going on with you. Please tell Kuya hmm? What's wrong?" My eyes are tearing up when I saw a tear fall from his eyes.

"I'm broke ok? I'm broken. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know what's going on with me." Roseanna gives up feeling soft for her brother "I don't know Kuya, I don't know. I don't know who am I and that is what's makes me like this. I don't know what to do, I'm hurt.'
Roseanna added and starts sobbing.
"My questions can't be answered because my mom is not here. I'm all alone. No one wants to stay with me" She said between her outcry and then her brother hug her.

"I'm always here, Kuya is always here. I always want to stay with you. Why would you think like that?" James hugs her tighter but Roseanna keeps on shaking her head.

"No, that is a lie. You're always busy with work and with Claire. Allison is busy with the pub while I? I'm all alone. Philip. Phillip? I don't even know what is he up to he's been busy with something that I don't know. I'm all alone, no one dared to talk to me. No one dared to comfort me" Roseanna said while her voice is getting low. Her anxieties are attacking her again.

"No little one, Kuya is here. Kuya is comforting you okay? Stop crying out. Kuya is here, I'm gonna take care of you" Her brother James said while wiping her tears away. H is now crying

"Your crying? Why are you crying? Did someone hurt you?"-l Roseanna asked as if she didn't break out a minute ago then she wipe his tears too.

"No, no" James shaped his head then forced a smile at her. "I'm good. All good what do you want? I'll cook something for you'' James said then He was about to stand up when Roseanna hold his hands and cry again

"No don't leave me. I'm afraid to be alone. I don't want to be alone, don't leave me" Roseanna is shaking so James quickly sits back.

"I'm not leaving, I'm not. Do you want to sleep?" James asked her little sister then Roseanna nodded "You can sleep now. Kuya is right here beside you" He said then let Roseanna lay on her bed and he also lay down beside her.

He's brushing Roseanna's hair gently with his hands until Roseanna fell asleep. He can't do anything but silently cry as he hears Roseanna's whimper.

You will know if someone is in deep pain in her soul because they whimper like a dog in their sleep.

Roseanna is hurt. Her sister is deeply hurt and he can't do anything to ease that. It pains him to see her beautiful sister in that situation.

Later on, James gets up slowly to call Allison.

" Hello? James?" Allison answered the call

"Ma?'' That's all he could say and started to cry again. He's grown enough for him to whine but he couldn't stop it when it's his sister.

" James? Hey, what's wrong? Is everything alright?" Allison worriedly asked James to call her Mama if he's hurt.

"Ma, Roseanna. Roseanna isn't well, she needs us" He said while wiping his tears.

" I'll come there right now, wait for me" Allison quickly ended the call