Father wasn't at home, and neither was Mother.
It was just Blessing and I at home. I went into my room; worry lines etched on my forehead. l wanted fast money. James had promised to teach me, but l wasn't sure of how he was going to do it. l turned on my laptop; all l browsed was pornography. My life was taking a different dimension. I was walking through a path that was foreign to me, a path in which l needed guidance. I needed Dad's assistance; I was drowning in something that l didn't want to, but it had gripped my every bone, making me weak . I kept thinking till l sank into a mind-numbing blank sleep.
I couldn't help pulling the trigger. It came like a shock. I was ordered to watch the old man closely against any suspicious move. Then, he made for his phone, insisting on calling the police.
great man, as he was fondly called, was a rich man in his late fifties. I had once seen him going into a hotel with Mum. I asked asked Mum, later on, and she smiled tightly saying that Mr great man and she were just business partners.
As l stared at the corpse before me, my pulse throbbed in my temples, my heart seemed to have dropped into my stomach. Tiny beads of perspiration had covered my entire body and my legs trembled.
I had killed a man old enough to be my father. The rule of the robbery was not kills; we just used guns to scare them in all our operations. James had assured me that we would always come out clean as long we did a neat job, My panicky eyes stared at the old man as blood gushed out of his head. Before l pulled the trigger, he had spoken to me. I could still remember the calm words with which he spoke.
"My son, you are too young for this; how are old are you?" He asked in a soft tone.
"Eighteen," I said sharply, still pointing the gun at him.
"You were misled by your bad friends; this will ruin your life, dear," he spoke, more calmly.
"You better shut up your mouth before l blow off your fat head." I spoke firmly, trying to be in control. But l was losing it.
"I have a son who is your age-mate and he is now in the university and soon he will become a medical doctor; you shouldn't have be doing this. l' m old enough to know that you don't want this".
I turned backwards, using my black T-shirt to wipe the tiny droplets of tears that crawled down my cheeks. "Hey, old man, I may look little, but l' m very mean. Shut your damned mouth and put your head down," I bawled, still pointing the gun at him.
All l felt was anger. I wanted to shoot everybody; Dad, Mum and even myself. My final words to him convinced him that l was furious, and then he made for his phone.
I stared frightfully at the corpse before me.
My eyes began to widen, goose pimples engulfed me and my breathing rate increased. I grabbed at my heart that was kicking like it want to escape.
"What happened, omo what happened?" one of the robbers involved in the operation asked on coming into the room.
"You are crazy? what did l tell you boy; James thundered on getting to know what had happened.
My trembling legs were pinned to the ground. What l feared most was that l had killed someone, a family man
"Guys, is movement. let's leave here quick quick. Move!" James ordered.
I seemed not to hear; l kept looking at the corpse in front of me. Tears trickled down my cheeks; I wept silently.
"You are mad, move jare," scorpion, one of us pushed me immediately and I followed. As we entered the car, I looked out through the window only to see Mr great's wife and children crying bitterly for their father. I had made this children fatherless and the woman a widow.
"My man you dey fuck up! Well, it is one of those things. it is just a matter of time; you will have to kill more people on this path you have chosen. Be a man," James said crossing his hand over my shoulder.
The words "be a man" rang in my ears and l tried to compare them with Mr great's words"You are too young for this." "Was l ever going to get out of this?" I asked myself. I let my head flop downwards to rest on the my raised knees. I already knew that l was never going to the university. Dad has try convincing me, but l had stood my ground, because James had told me that the university was just a total waste of time. He strongly suggested that l need a fast money, not spending years reading books.
It was 1:00p,m. the following day. That afternoon, l had drunk a lots of alcohol with the gang. I just thought it was best for me to return home. The door was unusually open; l entered slowly and closed the door behind me. All the rooms were closed except Dad's room. l walked in carefully and to my greatest surprise, l saw Crystal. She was lying on Dad's bed,with a wrapper across her body. l was shocked. Then l looked around the room, but l didn't see Father.
"What are you doing in Dad's room?" I questioned, staring at her.
"Eh..... the heat was too much in my room so l came here to get some air," she replied with stammering lips.

"ln Dad's room? And dressed like this for God's sake." I paused a while and stared lustfully at her. l was a bit drunk at the time, but that wouldn't affect my sleeping with her. l seemed hit below the belt at the sight of provocative display of her long, shapely and spotlessly fair legs, which made my lips watery.