When I left that house, I started looking for a place to rent. The first place I saw didn’t suit me, small and dirty. I started looking for expensive rentals and found just the right one for me. 

But there is a problem, I forgot that I spent half of my savings the other day because I was not given an allowance then, so that's all I spent. I had to find a place to stay because it was dangerous when it got dark on the street.

I asked the landlady if I could pay only half of the rent first and promised that next time I would pay in full. By the mercy of God, she agreed and gave me the key to my lodgings. 

When I enter the house, it is refreshing. I’m not used to the small space, but I’m sure I won’t feel what I felt in that house.

I will finally start living my own free life hoping I will survive alone.

A few days passed, which became months, and now it has been a year since I left their house. My behavior is frequently changing, that confused me as well.  I also became more irascible and became tetchy with everyone who planned to approach me.

And when I am in a situation where I became peevish, there is a tendency that I will say hurtful words. And what’s happening now is the example of the situation I’m talking about.

One of my neighbors is following me until now. I already told him that I'm not interested, but he is still insisting.

“I really like you.” he shouted as he continued to follow me. 

I faced him and stared at him intently.

“Why?” I asked him lazily.

There was a surprise on his face, but a smile concealed it. “Why? I like you, I like you so much. Believe me. I want every inch of you.” he replied.

“Why do you like me?” I asked him grimly, even though I already knew what he would answer. 

Some men have even confessed their feeling for me, that they like me, and all their reasons are the same.

His smile widened even more, and he looked at me eagerly. “I want you,no, I like you because you're beautiful.” 

All men have the same desire for a woman. And I have no heart to give to a man who does not want my love, but only the good looks that I have.

“I don't like you and will never like someone like you. Look at your face, it doesn't fit mine, so leave me alone.” I told him frankly. “And one more thing, jerk types of guy like you don't deserve a woman like me. Why? You're ugly, I'm beautiful. Lower your standards to a woman, dream of something that suits your appearance.” I added.

I left him dumbfounded and when he realized what I said he suddenly shouted foul words at me. It didn't work or affect me, I knew he would say that, everyone did.

“FVCK you. You're a heartless witch, Amelie”

Am I? Yes, I admit, I am heartless. Can you blame me? All my life I have only asked for love, but no one has given it to me. I just want to experience being with someone on all occasions in my life, but the people I hope to be with have disappointed me. They are the reason I am experiencing this, and they are to blame for why I grew up like this.

I continue to walk and didn't bother to stop to only hear his rants. It is nonsense and only time consuming. I have a lot of things that is worth my time.

When I came home I felt sad again.  There are so many bad people in the world, why am I so unlucky to have this kind of life?  Tiresome and confusing, I was afraid of being left behind but I couldn’t afford to stay long.  It's like I just want to disappear, I just want all my suffering to end.

I looked at the clock and saw that it was going to be lunch but I still had no cooked food.  I decided to just cook a simple lunch after all I was the only one to eat.

I approached the cookware cabinet and picked up the pan, when suddenly the door of my apartment opened violently.  A man a few feet taller than me entered, and it startled me. I was surprised, so I threw the pan I was holding, and it hit his head, which is why he is unconscious now.

I was startled and can't blame myself for what I did. He barged in my house without knocking, so what does he expect me to do? Welcome him? Of course not.

“What a nuisance.”

I pulled him onto the sofa, but it wasn’t easy because he was heavy.  I waited for him to wake up and forgot my plan to cook. I took off his mask and examined his face.  It was the first time I wanted to stare into a man’s face, and it was the first time I felt that as long as he was here I would never feel alone. It's weird because even though I don't know him, I immediately feel different now that he's here in front of me.  Not only that, but it's like I just want him to stay here with me and if he doesn't agree, I will be hurt too much.

I waited just a few minutes for him to wake up and when he regained consciousness I quickly walked away from him. I thought everything would be fine when he woke up, but the situation seemed to get worse, and I would just ask him to lose consciousness again.

“I will sue you for what you did to me, and I will make sure that you will go straight to jail.” he said threateningly.

Out of fear that what he was saying would happen, I quickly picked up the vase next to me and threw it at him again, which resulted in him losing consciousness for the second time.

“Sorry.”