Mom called me, she said they had set up another blind date for me. So, here I am in front of the restaurant they are referring to and hesitant whether I should just leave or continue inside. I chose the latter, and entered rudely. This isn’t the first time I’ve done this, but they still haven’t stopped setting a blind date for me. Are they really desperate for me to leave their house? I can leave voluntarily, but I'm their child, so why should I leave, even if they don't consider me as their own, I should still stay in their house because if I don't, where will I go?

I saw the man they were referring to, at first glance I knew that he would do something bad to me in case they agreed to marry me to this man. Moreover, I can see how he desires me and I dislike that. Maybe my parents are not that bad to do that to me, I'm still their child.

I approached the man's table and did not bother to sit down because when I got there, I said that I disliked him.

“I don't like you. Whatever my parents told you, forget it. I won't let them manipulate me. And one more thing, this look doesn't match the look you have.”

He was surprised by what I said. Anger and embarrassment could be seen on his face. He should be really ashamed because he still had the courage to fix his appearance even though he knew there was no hope.

Before I left, I first told him my first impression earlier when I first met him.

“Seriously, you're ugly.”

Everyone looked at him and laughed at his embarrassment. I immediately left the restaurant and headed for my car.  I turned on the engine and started driving towards our house.  At first, it was just slow, but as time went on it got faster and faster, that's why I arrived at our house after a couple of minutes.

As soon as I entered the house, my parents' angry faces greeted me. Disappointment can be seen on their faces.

“Why did you say that to Mr. Reyes? He called off our contract signing because of what you said.” Dad said angrily.

"I see, he already told you. That was fast." I replied.

"How many times do I have to tell you that those persons you are seeing is important, why are you always rude to them?" he yelled.

I looked at mom, asking for her help to calm dad down, but I was disappointed because she was also mad at me.

“Am I really worthless to you? Am I really just something that you will present to your investors just so that they will agree to sign a contract with you? Something to offer investors to entice them to sign with you?” I asked them with resentment. 

I feel like I'm just something they can offer to whoever, something they can exchange for their success. They treat me so unfairly, despite the love I give them, they can still hurt me in any way they know how.

“You have no right to complain. First, if we don’t do that, where will you get your luxury? You cannot question our decisions for you. You will follow us or else …” she said with a threatening tone.

I knew this day would come, so I already prepared myself. I’m just looking for an opportunity to do it and I think it’s the right time.

It's so tiring to be hurt every day, the more I see them, the more I get hurt. I don’t know, and I still can’t accept why they can treat me like this. It is not my fault that I was born a woman and not a man, they ask for.

I looked at them with sadness in my eyes, “Or else what, mom? You will disown me, in the first did you owned me? Of course not.” I fake laughed. “Or you want me out of your lives? I know you have wanted to do that for a long time, but there's this one reason that is holding you back. Your investors want me. If it weren't for me, they wouldn't have signed a contract with you.” I added.

She slapped me. I felt pain on my right cheek, but could not let my tears flow. Maybe my tears are tired too. 

“Leave if you want, we will not stop you.  Moreover, you are not a man, so you are no use to us.  Go away and never come back.”

I suddenly realized what mom had said.  I can't leave, I shouldn't leave.  Not only that, but I knew they would love me too, I’m sure they didn’t want me to leave.

“No Mom, Dad, I know you still need me here? I know you will love me too? I know you're just kidding. Don't worry, I'll talk to Mr. Reyes and I will come back here holding your contract with his signature. I promise, just don't let me get out of here. You know I want to avoid being left alone, right?” I took their hand and looked at them pleadingly.

All my life I never felt my parents loved me, they just had no choice but to raise me because they knew they could use me. Whenever my birthday comes, they will just give me money and I will take care of making myself happy. Whenever Christmas and New Year comes, they are not at home. I was the only one left alone and celebrating. Whenever there was a parent's meeting at school, they would just send their employee to attend for me. Every family day, our helpers, and drivers will go with me, and they will stand as my family. Every graduation I hope they will go up on stage with me, I hope they will be proud of my achievements, but they did not show up at my graduation. I envied some of my classmates because their parents loved them dearly. I wish I could too, I wish my parents loved me too, but I'm just tired of hoping because I know that's unlikely to happen unless I become a man.

They pushed my hand away and turned their backs on me. I didn't even see them caring for me at all. It's like I'm just something for them to throw away when it's no longer useful.

“FINE, I'M LEAVING.  BUT BEFORE I DO THAT, WHY DON’T WE PLAY FIRST.  I DIDN'T EXPERIENCE THAT WHEN I WAS A CHILD, I DIDN'T EXPERIENCE PLAYING WITH YOU TWO.” I smirked. 

“Let me ask you a question. What is the most important thing to you? This flash drive that contains all the important information of your company that once it disappears all your business will also collapse? Or your bank account that contains all of your money? Choose, I will give you a chance to save one of your most precious possessions.”

Panic can be seen on their faces. Maybe they didn’t expect me to do this to them. And who would have thought that someone like me could do something like this. They didn't know because they never had time to ask how I was feeling unless they were going to introduce someone to me again.

She came closer to hug me. I didn't expect that, and much more I didn't expect, is when she took out their possessions from my hands. Thereafter, she pushed me hard and asked me to leave, so I did.

Before I could finally walk out of the gate, I glanced one last time at the house where I grew up.

“Someday, I will find the one who will truly give me value and love that you did not give me.”